Your all time favorite joke.

[Mr. Poopypants]

This may be a fun thread. Post your favorite joke.OK, here's mine.Two guys are walking through the woods and they see this HUGE hole in the ground. They cannot see the bottom and they want to see how deep it is. They throw a few small rocks in and listen for them to hit. They hear nothing. They get a few more rocks, a little bigger, and throw them in....................nothing. They go for a walk to find something really big to throw in. They find a railroad tie. They both lug it back and throw it in......................nothing again. So they decide to give up. Just as they turn around a goat comes flying through the woods and drops right down the hole. They listen................nothing. So they leave. As they are walking out of the woods, they see a farmer. The farmer says, "Either of you guys see a goat around here?" The guys tell the farmer that a goat just flew into the hole in the ground a few hundred yards back into the woods. The farmer says,"That couldn't have been my goat, he was tied to a railroad tie."

[drunkenmaxx]

hmm. that's your favorite?most of my fav's are unnappropriate and would be no good if altered, i'll try to think of my fav. though.

[Mr. Poopypants]

I just get such a kick out of that one. Most of my other favorites are, like you said, innappropriate. But here's another.What does a 500 pound peep say?? PEEEEEEEEEP

[Mr. Poopypants]

What do you call a def dog?It doesn't matter, he won't hear you anyway.

[drunkenmaxx]

Do you know why Helen Keller can't drive?she's dead!Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio?yep, and the dashboard and steering wheel, etc..

[Mr. Poopypants]

WOW, that princess di one is rough. What has 4 legs, is green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will kill you.A pool tableWhat is black, white, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?A nun with a spear through her head.What's long, green and smells like pork?Kermit's finger.

[drunkenmaxx]

hahahawhat's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?the wheelchair!what did one lesbian vampire say to the other?see you next month!!

[Mr. Poopypants]

What's the square root of 69??eight something

[savedbyzero]

It goes some thing like this:"HHMMM. I think I can make GenVibe God status in one day! 165 posts is nothing!"Now that's funny.

[Mr. Poopypants]

Quote, originally posted by savedbyzero »It goes some thing like this:"HHMMM. I think I can make GenVibe God status in one day! 165 posts is nothing!"Now that's funny.I see you are at it again today.

[Reynoma]

Why do they call it PMS?Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

[drunkenmaxx]

did you hear about the mathematician who was constipated?eventually he penciled out the problem.

[sloth]

Ok, I don't see this one as being anymore inappropriate than the above.A New York reporter goes to the back woods of Tennessee looking for a story. He walks for 2 days without seeing anybody and then comes accross a small house. He knocks on the door and explains the owner, who fits the stereo types quite well, what he's doing.He asked him if he has any interesting stories.Hillbilly: Well this one time my neighbor lost his pig, so all the neighbors and myself got a bunch of beer, got drunk and went looking for the pig. Found the pig and had (removed) with the pig.Reporter: Errr, that's not what I'm looking for.Hillbilly: Ok, umm. This one time my neighbors wife ran off and got lost so we got a bunch of beer, got drunk, found her and we all had (removed) with her.Report: Still not a good story. Got anything really heart felt.Hillbilly with a tear in his eye: This one time I got lost....

[rebbierae]

A skeleton goes in to a bar...what does he order? A beer and a mop!

[cohocarl]

This younger guy walks into a bar and sits a cardboard box on the bar. An older guy sitting at the bar heard some music coming out of the box and asked the younger guy what he had in there. The younger guy said go ahead and take a look. The old guy looks inside the box and sees a miniature man playing the piano. He says "Where'd you get that?" and the younger guy said he found an Aladan's lamp out back in the alley, rubbed it, and a genie popped out and that's what he got for his wish. He told the older guy if he goes out back, the lamp should still be there. The older guy goes out back, sees the Aladan's lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. The genie says "I'll grant you one wish", so the old guy thinks and said "I wish for a million bucks", and the genie grants him his wish and a million ducks fly over. All upset, he walks back into the bar and says to the younger guy "That genie must be hard of hearing because I wished for a million bucks and got a million ducks". The younger guy says, "Well you don't think I really wished for a 10 inch pianist do you?"

[cohocarl]

I like the joke teller's expression on his face right at the end of this video. (hope the link works)http://www.barryandandy.com/so...s.mpg

[cieglo]

I got this from a Batman cartoon:A man walks into a bar,and says,"OW!"

[vibe-04]

A termite walks into a bar and says "is the bar-tender here?"

[sloth]

Every morning my wife takes a shower then comes out and asks if she looks alright...am I getting fat? Am I drooping? etc?Finally I'm sick of it so I decided to not be so nice about it.About a month ago she asked me again.I replied: "Your boobs could be bigger". Of course she throws a fit and starts yelling. Her: "What am I supposed to do about it".Me: "Take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs."So she blindly trusts me on this for the last month.Her: "I don't think the toilet paper trick is working, and I don't understand how it's supposed to work"Me: "Worked for your (removed) didn't it"

[McVibe]

Okay, what did 50 cent say to his grandmother when she gave him a sweater for christmas?...G-U-knit!Ahh, it kills me everytime.

[drunkenmaxx]

alright, here's a good un:A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few pointers before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's (removed), and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit. "The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's (removed), but I licked my index."

[ColonelPanic]

Not my all time favorite, but something I just heard...Call the boss and tell them you've got (removed) glaucoma... That of course, is to be followed by "I don't see my (removed) coming in today!"