Funny oneliners

ullbergm · Post by **ullbergm** » Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:57 am

The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is gone. (used to call someone stupid)Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bulls**t before.Twenty-five years ago I met Ms. Right....but I didn't know at that time that her first name was Always. If it ain't broke, fix it until it is! The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.I don't get even, I get odder.A computer uses smoke to work. How do I know? Because when the smoke comes out of it, it does'nt work anymore!If it's inevitable, you might as well sit back and enjoy it. (also known as BOHICA -- Bend Over, Here It Comes Again)A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? (T-shirt)If 2000 people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.Everyone is entitled to my opinionSign: Planned Parenthood Association, Entrance in Rear.Sign: Toilet is not working, please use floor below.Stupidity got us in this mess-why can't it get us out?Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos-you never know what's going to burn your a**.Sticks and stones may break my bones, but the sledgehammer was ENTIRELY unnecessary. Two wrongs dont make a right but three rights make a left.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Scientists may come, and scientists may go, but Ampere's name will always be current.If at first you DO succeed, try not to look surprised.Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it! The guy who invented the wheel really started a revolution. Do unto others, then run. No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.