Amazing New Cures...

[BlueCrush]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throatand presto, the blockage will be almost instantlyremoved.2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicingvegetables by getting someone else to hold them whileyou chop away.3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about liftingthe toilet seat by simply using the sink.4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cutyourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducingthe pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,will prevent you from rolling over and going back tosleep after you hit the snooze button.6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose oflaxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with ahammer and you will forget about the toothache.8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rulesof life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 andDuct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use theWD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the ducttape.9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get toknow them.10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to thebathroom.11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You getanother chance.12. And finally, be really nice to your family andfriends; you never know when you might need them toempty your bedpan!

[Mrizzle05]

LOL good one... i like the one about the blood pressure one.

[Mavrik]

HAHA might need to try that mousetrap thing

[tcam]

lol, I liked the one that said to take laxatives with a bad cough. haha, priceless. good jokes

[NascarXprt]

Quote, originally posted by BlueCrush »1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throatand presto, the blockage will be almost instantlyremoved.2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicingvegetables by getting someone else to hold them whileyou chop away.3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about liftingthe toilet seat by simply using the sink. ROTFLAMO!!!these are awsome!!!

[northvibe]

HAHHA BC those are awesome!