WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

[AZViking]

This one's probably in the forum already, just thought I'd post it anyway. Enjoy1. AT LUNCH, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIRDRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE. 3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT FRIES WITH THAT.4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"5. WHEN TRYING ON CLOTHES IN A DRESSING ROOM, YELL OUT "THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE"6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS"7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY"8. DONT USE PUNCTUATION9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.10. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THRU ORDER IS "TO GO"11. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA12. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME 13. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA AND PLAY TROPICAL SOUNDS ALL DAY.14. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON I WON!"15. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THEY'RE LOOSE!"16. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."