Need Office Politics Advice... (rather long)

[Sputnik]

Okay here's the situation.I think I may have mentioned in the fall, my manager left and I was passed over for promotion to her position. Even though I had filled in for her before. The company decided to hire externally and moved me out of the group I was in and into an assistant project management position with another group. Here's the situation today. I'm very good friends with someone from the group I used to work with. We live almost next door. We go to the gym together, shop together. Have breaks at work together. Okay so everyone in the office knows we're fairly tight. But I figured since we're in two different groups now, this isn't a problem. Heck, my hubby works there too and no one has a problem with that. Anyway so the new manager and I, don't actually speak. I gave her handover, but everytime I tried to help her, or give advice, she was very cold to me, so eventually I just thought "you're on your own now" and tried to stay out of the goings on of that group. Now my friend has her for a manager. She feels that the new manager is incompetent. Or at least not as competent as I would have been. A few others have said the same to me, but as I said, I'm trying to stay out of the goings on down there. So my friend told another manager what she thought of her new manager. This eventually got back to the new manager. At the same time, my friend asked me what is needed to move up to the senior level (she's at junior level now but meets the senior criteria and she was just given 4 others to supervise). So I figured I'd ask my senior manager how do you go about getting promoted (since I didn't really figure the new manager would know as she's not familiar with our processes). He agreed she should be promoted and went and asked the office manager who seemed receptive to the idea. I admit he probably should have suggested it to the new manager, but I don't think its really her decision anyway... she doesn't control the money. Anyway the other day the new manager called a private closed door meeting with my friend and this is basically how it went.She said that she decides who gets promoted and when they get promoted and that my friend is too immature to be promoted (so obviously the office manager had said something to her about this). She also said that she knew my friend had "issues" with her (since someone blabbed apparently). And here's the kicker... she said that she should not associate with me, because I hate her (the new manager). She also told my friend that the conversation was not to leave the room. My friend says "so you consider me a problem employee?" And she says no actually your work is quite good. Okay so here's my thing with this - I feel that the new manager actually feels that I'm behind all this and am after her job (since I wanted it originally), and that is why she does not want my friend hanging out with me anymore. I'm not behind anything - I have no feelings for this person whatsoever. I'm actually quite happy working in the group I'm in and don't want to go back to the old group. I've been trying very hard not to say negative things about her. So where she got that I hate her from, I have no idea. I feel that my friend has been threatened and should tell someone higher up. She doesn't want to as she's afraid of repercussions. I also don't want her friendship with me to make her life difficult at work, so I offered to stop going on breaks with her and whatnot while we're at work, but she refused, saying that no one tells her who her friends are.So I need some advice here. I want to tell senior management of this, however I don't want to because then I'm seen as some kind of instigator and I don't want my friend getting into more trouble. I think the fact that she said the conversation shouldn't leave the room, is indication that the new manager knows what she said is inappropriate. I feel that this entire thing is because of her "association" to me, and the fact that I went after that job at one point. Do I try and convince her to tell someone higher up? Do you think that the new manager was out of line? I'm really very new to office politics. I've worked there for 5.5 years but I wasn't involved that much in the politics until I moved to my current position.Thanks for any opinions.

[vibe-04]

Drop a fish wrapped in newspaper on the new manager's desk -- then find a new job.I'm guessing it was senior mgmt that told the new manager that you would hold some resentment. Don't trust the senior mgmt types, after all they passed you up didn't they.I remember your thread when you were passed over for the promotion. The market is strong in Ottawa, shop around and find somewhere you will be wanted and respected cause your story smells too much like a high school drama and you are an adult now.Good luck.Andrew

[Sputnik]

Yeah I talked to my mom since she was a manager for a long time. She advised that my friend document everything and leave at that for now. So I'm not going to say anything about it to anyone.

[Jahntassa]

I personally hate office politics, as it always seems there's someone stupid in the high-up, and they don't ever care about you. Inadvertantly or not, they always screw you over. I'm going through something similar, and I actually sent out an email to my new manager basically saying I don't understand one of her recent decisions.Of course I also sent it to the whole group, so I got a little yelled at for that.Unless you -really- like working there or know someone really in charge, i'd go with Vibe-04, try to ditch!If the new manager is 'hearing things', maybe you should too. It seems to me your best option to cool things over is to approach her, tell her that yeah, you were upset that you didn't get her job, but there's no hard feelings. It's not her fault the higher-ups passed you over. Try to cool her down so she doesn't feel you're trying to undermine her. Don't go around the problem without making that first step. The problem is, who will higher-management go with, you, or her?Tell her you don't want anything between you and her to affect your friend's work. Diplomacy might be the best option here...But this is only my opinion.

[Sputnik]

Thanks! Thats interesting, I hadn't thought of that option.

[NoMerits]

I've worked in this type of arena almost my entire career. I'll give you some quick and dirty advice1. They passed you over, then moved you = they like your performance, but want you to gain experience and did not want potential conflict with new person2. New person wants to make her own team = anyone who is close to you will be perceived as a threat to her ability to manage, I'm sure someone has referenced you and your style to her and she is probably territorial3. "Let's keep this to ourselves and behind these doors" = I'm testing your loyalty and planting a seed to see where it grows from, careful with this - lay low, both of you, document and monitor how you both are treated. Trust me everyone talks, you think they don't, but the sure as h*ll do! Cool down your relationship in the office, don't reference any out of office contact and see what transpires. I know it sucks, but its how we have to survive sometimes, it always comes down to performance, and the good ones will prevail as soon as it starts to cost the company money! Jim

[POLO]

I agree with Jahntassa.The new manager are afraid of you,she know that you are more competent and you have good ''entourage''.So,in his head she thinking that you will trying to do something against her.So,before to do something maybe you will regret after.Take a moment to talk one on one with her to see what it's perception on you.Talk that you don't have a bad eye on her...Be clear.After see if she will change attitude.Unfortunately,in company they promote personal in other department,for do not create jealousy or create tension between personal in a group.I know it's not very motivating.I live this every day.

[Sputnik]

My friend broke down today and told my manager (who's almost at the same level as the new manager - maybe a tad bit above). He did not seem impressed by what the new manager had said. But he didn't give any advice other than to keep taking notes.

[Sputnik]

So, an update on this story... my friend just got a new job at a 75% pay increase over what she has now... so obviously she took it - the pay and the escaping of the evil manager, how could you not? Anyway she's been pressing me to apply (there are multiple positions available), and so has her husband and mine because of the pay. So I did. I'm not unhappy where I am, but my God, that kind of pay could do a lot for me... but I might regret it. They put it to me this way - if I end up having an interview and getting the job I dont have to take it if I'm really happy where I am...

[GMJAP]

I would say go for it and see what happens. It would be kinda risky for both you and the hubby to work at the same place, though. See if you both get offers and if so how they stack up.Why do you feel you might regret it?

[Atomb]

hmm considering your location...and your description of the prospective position...i say go for the cushy government job!

[Sputnik]

Quote, originally posted by GMJAP »I would say go for it and see what happens. It would be kinda risky for both you and the hubby to work at the same place, though. See if you both get offers and if so how they stack up.Why do you feel you might regret it?Oh sorry, I should clarify - her, her husband and my hubby are all pressing me to apply. Right now I do work with my hubby and have for the last 6 years. I work in a gov't building - relatively stable. This is like out there in "the real world" - layoffs, downturns - all that kind of stuff.

[Sputnik]

Quote, originally posted by Atomb »hmm considering your location...and your description of the prospective position...i say go for the cushy government job!That 75% increase is friggin' tempting. She and I make roughly the same right now. I like where I work right now (aside from the idiots which I know will be in all work places). I like the people generally speaking and I somewhat enjoy the work - I get bored easily though and find myself bored frequently in this position. I think a new one would be more exciting. But you never know. I'm not much of a risk taker in general...

[BlueCrush]

Change is good! Check it out.

[GMJAP]

Quote, originally posted by Sputnik »Oh sorry, I should clarify - her, her husband and my hubby are all pressing me to apply. Right now I do work with my hubby and have for the last 6 years. I work in a gov't building - relatively stable. This is like out there in "the real world" - layoffs, downturns - all that kind of stuff.Now that I re-read it, it comes across as intended. Guess I read too fast!However, since your hubby seems to have the relatively stable type of job you do now, it might be worth it for you to take a bit of risk for the extra income.Think of it this way: if you earn about 50% more, then if you get laid off after 4 years and can't find another job for 2 more years, you'll have made roughly the same as if you stay in your current position for 6 years.The extra income gives you a nice cushion to absorb a lot of the risk.