To attached?

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:29 pm

So anyone like me? I get to attached to people. I sometimes feel like I care to much. I have this friend that I am really close to and he just does not care about anything...anything at all. I just don't know why I get so attached to people how do I get over that just a little so I don't spend all my time just worring about everyone else?

Herb · Post by **Herb** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 2:51 pm

I suppose you could try to occupy yourself with more activities, such as sports, volunteering, hobbies etc.

Mr. Poopypants · Post by **Mr. Poopypants** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:36 pm

If you spend too much time worrying about others you will start to neglect your own responsibilities. I find that these people need to work out their own problems. I will offer help, that's what a friend does. I have a friend, he's a great guy, we've been friends for about 6 years, he has been going through some situations in his life and I have no problem offering advice and support, but it's getting to the point that no matter what, he's calling me venting and asking for help, and asking what he should do. It's getting to the point that I have been dreading his calls. I used to worry about him, since he has been a mutual friend of Mrs. Poopypants and I for so long, but it's getting to the point that I'm sick of it. He's still my friend and all but sometimes I have to step back and realize, I have my own things to deal with, if I deal with or worry about someone else's problem, I'm going to neglect my responsibilities. You have to look out for #1 first.

Baltovibe · Post by **Baltovibe** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:31 pm

Quote, originally posted by fortiffany Â»How do I get over that just a little so I don't spend all my time just worring about everyone else?Time and experience will help. When you get hurt many times throughout life, you will sadly learn to be more reserved, and lookout more for yourself.

Flip-Side · Post by **Flip-Side** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 9:33 pm

Quote, originally posted by Mr. Poopypants Â»if I deal with or worry about someone else's problem, I'm going to neglect my responsibilities. You have to look out for #1 first.I agree with the Poopster. Take it from a former "Guy Friend". Worrying about everyone else makes you hate yourself later when they don't return the favor. It's not selfish to look out for yourself first, when they do the same while also dumping on you. Suffice to say I am not friends with many of those people anymore, because being a jerk is so much more fun and gets you places in the world. People create their own karma or luck, so to speak. Those that have constant problems bring them upon themselfs much of the time.

Atomb · Post by **Atomb** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:31 pm

i find that not coating all my clothes with super-glue a good way not to get too attached to people...but that's just me.

Mavrik · Post by **Mavrik** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 2:18 am

I try to worry/concern myself with only what effects me and the ones I love. Nothing wrong with caring for others though, just don't go overboard.

jwalcik · Post by **jwalcik** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 1:17 pm

as a guy who has a lot of female friends, and as someone who has to spend a lot of time putting other's feelings first (i volunteer as a crisis counselor for sexual assault survivors), i have to say sometimes you just have to forget about others and worry about yourself. watch a movie, find a hottub, go for a walk, or whatever it is that both makes you put yourself first and forget about their problems. as nice as it feels to help others out, you can't keep doing it if you can't keep yourself happy as well. good luck!

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 1:30 pm

as most everyone has already said, it's good to care about others, just make sure you don't neglect yourself. what i find about worriers (i am also one to do the same) is we tend to avoid our own personal problems by focusing on someone elses. this way we don't have to deal with our own and we can worry about anothers, pretending and avoiding the real issues. i believe that if you want to care about someone and "worry" for them, you need to know WHY you are worrying. Is there cause for it? is it your own insecurities? sadly, as poopy has said, after awhile of people not returning that same love and concern for you, you become more and more reserved in who you care about or love. just be careful to not let yourself get so wrapped up in others that you neglect your own needs.

binary · Post by **binary** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 11:59 pm

I used to work tech support job for a big isp when I was in school... that job pretty much indirectly trained me not to give a crap about anyone anymore. People are so needy and feel their world will end if you don't help them. They need to be shown the path to do things for themselves so they can take care of their problems. Learn from the experience, grow with the solution you find, and get on with life.Most people need to understand >everyoneMaybe I'm just a selfish jerk... but I'm happy!

mcgusto82 · Post by **mcgusto82** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 10:48 pm

don't scare the man away. man are hunters. we don't like easy targets. make him work for it. he'll feel more accomplished by it.

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 9:24 am

Thanks I have been trying that lately and he still does not get it. I am sorry but some men are just strange!

kostby · Post by **kostby** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 3:09 pm

Quote, originally posted by fortiffany Â»I am sorry but some men are just strange!Oh, don't be sorry! You're powerless to do anything about it. It's genetic. It might be evolution. (Admittedly, from the perspective of many modern women, "It couldn't be intelligent design if a man was involved."Evolution has blessed (cursed) men with genes like the following:'I love sports, to the exclusion of almost everything else except (removed)', 'I gotta have the remote-control', 'I'm directionally challenged', 'I love cars', 'I love beer', 'I love farting', 'Women are great for (removed), but I still need some quality time with the guys', and 'I'll fix anything with duct-tape and/or drywall screws.'On the other hand, most women have been blessed (cursed) with genes like:'I care for the less fortunate''I care for the sick and injured''I teach and nurture the young''I love to-go-shopping''I love shoes', 'I'll stop at Hallmark and get 'em a card', and'I fall in love with others who are somehow broken, because I know can make it "all better".'No commercial plug intended here, but it might help you to read a Dr. Laura book like 'Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives' --> http://www.drlaurashop.com/pro...e339c

mcgusto82 · Post by **mcgusto82** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 11:49 pm

Quote, originally posted by fortiffany Â»Thanks I have been trying that lately and he still does not get it. I am sorry but some men are just strange!listen sweetheart. there's very little you can do to change the way a man feels. The worse theing you can do now is show him all the power he has over you. just let things take their course. if you really like him. that's cool. just don't put yourself out there too far.. make him dinner. that's about it. He'll apreciate that more than anything else. and it doesn't cost anything. he won't think you are trying to buy him.

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 1:43 am

I did make him dinner...now he does not call or leave me im's i tell him ok you want to do something tomorrow then call me when you want to then he never calls and comes up with some dumb reason why he didn't. Let me tell ya if that happens again tonight the crap is going to hit the fan!

mcgusto82 · Post by **mcgusto82** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 2:26 am

if he seems not interested. he likely isn't.cut your loses and move on.

ToolGuy · Post by **ToolGuy** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:12 am

Yeah sorry to say like the book but "He is just not into you"...I used to be that way with one girl I had a crush on many years ago, than I moved away. I did not call her form months then she ends up calling me and I never called her back. Damn it was a good feeling! The freaky thing is my wife has the same name and is blonde too! LOL!!!!

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:20 am

Yeah I know but did you ever read that book? I did and thought that it was a waste of $ and that guy was just looking for some quick cash. I think I could have done a better job and I have not dated that much!

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:46 am

better job as in a better guy, or better job as in try even harder?

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 7:03 am

Better job as in a better book. The chic's point of view in that book sucked!

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:36 am

Update! I broke up with him...thanks for listening everyone to me complain about him. I did this after I had kinda a nervous break down. I am better off now I should have listened to you all sooner. I went out right after that and had a blast bowling and bowled my highest game in a while! I am still sad don't get me wrong, but I fell so much better.

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:43 am

You did the right thing. Hang in there and be patient girl. Happy bowling!

ZubenElGenubi · Post by **ZubenElGenubi** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:22 am

Nothing like a good game of tenpins to take the edge off.Sorry to sound clichÃ©, but you have to find happiness in yourself first. Anything else is gravy, including relationships.

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:46 am

Thanks, I don't know if this is kinda strange but....When I was bowling I was drinking with my new ex's Dad. I still talk to him alot....so I had a little to much and ended up in talking with some guys in the lane next to me! I ended up getting three phone numbers that night the same night of the break up! I still can't stop thinking about him but I think I should hang out with some of these guys!

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:50 am

Quote, originally posted by fortiffany Â»I think I should hang out with some of these guys! good thinking, just not all of them at once!

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:25 am

Thanks I will try but I am so cute they all want me! j/k Look I am giving myself a big head! I hung out with one and now we have gone out every day. It's kinda hard moving on so fast....hummm

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