SATIRE: Yet another Saturn concept floated!

[kostby]

Revealed: Top Secret 2009 Saturn Concept: Water!"Damn the Toyotas! Full Speed Ahead!" will certainly be the battle cry as Saturn proceeds with plans to produce a category-busting nuclear-powered 'flotation utility device' (FUD), tentatively called 'Water!' 0-60 without making waves!The two-seat sub will have a top underwater speed of more than 60 knots, thanks to groundbreaking 'water-tunnel' testing. Nuclear energy really puts the POW in powerfulSaturn is rumored to have cut a deal with a former high-ranking Soviet military official in order to gather enough fuel-grade uranium to power the 1 gigawatt nuclear reactor on board each car. 7 years between fill-ups!You'll only need to 'fill up' with nuclear fuel rods about every 7 years. Breakthrough technological advances have overcome the traditional concerns about what to do with spent fuel rods. "We call it 'North Dakota', one Saturn official was quoted as saying of the top-secret plan."A true nuclear submarine for less than $1,200,000,000! I LIKE IT!" enthused a retired Navy admiral about the category-busting concept.A rumored 'Full Battle Group' option hints at 'hardened' electronics that can withstand a direct nuclear attack. Saturn officials declined to confirm that tactical nuclear weapons will be on the option list, only saying, 'It'll certainly be able to defend itself in the marketplace'.With a computer-enhanced night-vision precision periscope, radar, sonar, GPS navigation, XM, and 'OnFullAlertStar' as standard equipment, the Saturn concept wow'ed the folks who saw it in a recent focus group study. "Holy Moley!" said a teenage boy, "Now I really CAN take my girlfriend to see the 'submarine races' at the lake!"A Navy of one?Saturn sees the target market as those thousands of aging baby-boomers who had careers on a Navy nuclear sub and are now retired from active duty.Here is is, seen for the first time in a cellphone-photo taken during an early 'shake-down cruise'

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[PhillyVibeGT]

I'll take one, maybe I can put it in the pool.