Some more Iowa humor

[redlava]

If you don't get some of them, don't worry I will understand.If you consider it a sport to gather your food bydrilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there allday hoping that the food will swim by, you might live inIowa. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Iowa. If your local Dairy Queen is closed >from Novemberthrough March, you might live in Iowa. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for fivemonths out of the year, you might live in Iowa. If someone in a store offers you assistance, andthey don't work there, you might live in Iowa. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving aroundthe middle of his forehead, you might live in Iowa. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the sametime, you might live in Iowa. If your town has an equal number of bars andchurches, you might live in Iowa. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversationwith someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live inIowa.YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Iowan WHEN:1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend. 2. You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. 14. Down South to you means Missouri. 15. A brat is something you eat. 16. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. (don't ask, I don't have any idea. But my Dad does.)17. You go out to a tail gate party every Friday. 18. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 19. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 20. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

[GMJAP]

hee hee. I loved the 4 seasons of Iowa.Didn't get #15 at all, though.

[kostby]

'brat' in this case is pronounced 'braaaahhht, rhymes with yacht' rather than short-a 'brat rhymes with rat' and is an abbreviation for bratwurst, a kind of sausage, larger than a hotdog, but (in Indiana, anyway) usually grilled outdoors. Link to bratwurst pages at Johnsonville.com (famous Wisconsin maker of bratwurst and other sausages) --> http://www.johnsonville.com

[drunkenmaxx]

i sure hope everone knows what a brat is for gods sake!!thats funny stuff. some of those apply to here too. i have had a lengthy conversation with a wrong number before myself!

[PhillyVibeGT]

brats are great, although, they make me toot my horn if you catch my drift. And our DQ's are closed 6 months out of the year too.