The Guys' Rules

[msmyer]

Got this e-mail and thought it was funny! Quote, originally posted by msmyer »> > >The Guys' Rules > > > > > >At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down > > > > > >Finally, the guys' side of the story. > > >(I must admit, it's pretty good.) > > > > > > > > >We always hear "the rules" > > >from the female side. > > >Now here are the rules from the male side. > > >These are our rules! > > >Please note... these are all numbered "1" > > >ON PURPOSE! > > > > > >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. > > >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. > > >We need it up, you need it down. > > >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > > > > >1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon > > >or the changing of the tides. > > >Let it be. > > > > > >1. Shopping is NOT a sport. > > >And no, we are never going to think of it that way. > > > > > >1. Crying is blackmail. > > > > > >1. Ask for what you want. > > >Let us be clear on this one: > > >Subtle hints do not work! > > >Strong hints do not work! > > >Obvious hints do not work! > > >Just say it! > > > > > >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every > > >question. > > > > > >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. > > >That's > > >what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > > > > >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. > > >See a doctor. > > > > > >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In > > >fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > > > > >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, > > >don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. > > > > > >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. > > >Don't ask us. > > > > > >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways > > >and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, > > >we meant the other one. > > > > > >1. You can either ask us to do something > > >or tell us how you want it done. > > >Not both. > > >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > > > > >1. Whenever possible, > > >please say whatever you have to say during commercials. > > > > > >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. > > > > > >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. > > >Peach, > > >for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We > > >have > > >no idea what mauve is. > > > > > >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. > > >We do that. > > > > > >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," > > >we will act like nothing's wrong. > > >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > > > > >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, > > >expect an answer you don't want to hear. > > > > > >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is > > >fine..Really. > > > > > >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to > > >discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster > > >trucks. > > > > > >1. You have enough clothes. > > > > > >1. You have too many shoes. > > > > > >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. > > > > > >1. Thank you for reading this. > > >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; > > > > > >but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. > > > > > >Pass this to as many men as you can - > > >to give them a laugh. > > > > > >Pass this to as many women as you can - > > >to give them a bigger laugh!!

[Mavrik]

HAHA Thats really funny... where was that last summer, my ex needs to read that and understand

[Sputnik]

Oh my thats so funny - and so true - I read them to my boyfriend.

[AKLGT]

ha ha ha! i'm gonna have to copy that and email it to my coworkers! (removed)! and what???? phil i hope you don't leave that seat up! you can go in a honey bucket outside! lol

[Mavrik]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »ha ha ha! i'm gonna have to copy that and email it to my coworkers! (removed)! and what???? phil i hope you don't leave that seat up! you can go in a honey bucket outside! lolDon't worry, I'm maybe one of the few that puts it down.

[Pablo1669]

Quote, originally posted by Mavrik »Don't worry, I'm maybe one of the few that puts it down. I put it down out of curtesy, so does that mean women are rude because they don't put it up for us?

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Pablo1669 »I put it down out of curtesy, so does that mean women are rude because they don't put it up for us?well, maybe she just doesn't do it for you!

[Mavrik]

Just out of debate purposes lol... what is the real reason of putting the seat down? To be polite and thoughtful to the ladies? Cause it looks better down then up? Maybe it was really designed to be left... up? Maybe its the women that have had it all wrong all along. Maybe THEY should be putting it up for us when THEY are done? Thoughts, ideas?

[ALi3N]

you know, my gf is living in my room at my dads house. so, being the only girl, when she's done, she puts the seat back up for us. How do you like that one? eh?

[Mavrik]

Quote, originally posted by ALi3N »you know, my gf is living in my room at my dads house. so, being the only girl, when she's done, she puts the seat back up for us. How do you like that one? eh?Thats good! lol like that.

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Mavrik »Just out of debate purposes lol... what is the real reason of putting the seat down? To be polite and thoughtful to the ladies? Cause it looks better down then up? Maybe it was really designed to be left... up? Maybe its the women that have had it all wrong all along. Maybe THEY should be putting it up for us when THEY are done? oh... now you've gone and done it! that's it! you are going in a honey bucket for sure!!!! there is a reason WHY there is a seat... and a lid. to close it. like a door. do you leave your door open all day??? not unless you want some stranger walking in your house! plus, it keeps things nice and safe from FALLING into the toilet as well! did you know when you flush your toilet, the spray of water can fly up to 10 ft? so where do you put your toothbrush in relation to your toilet??? i always lower the lid and then flush! here's where you can go! http://www.donponder.com/pix08.htm

[Sputnik]

Thats right! Why have a lid if you're leaving the seat up?

[rasermon]

I put the lid down for my wife and she should have the respect to lift it back up. Plus it make it easy for the dogs to get a drink.

[Mavrik]

Well maybe its a canadian thing since we don't lock our doors or shut our gates... leave it open/up lol

[ragingfish]

I'm one of the few men who puts ALL seats down: the seat, and the lid. I dont' wanna look in the toilet. It's not meant to be aesthetically pleasing, hence the purpose of the lid. Close it. You wouldn't leave the peanut butter open in the pantry 24/7 would you? No! Why should a toilet be any different.As to Canadians not locking doors, I noticed that when I was in Calgary. No doors had locks on them! Not even bathrooms. Very uncommon in the states...

[Mavrik]

LOL well on this topic since I do put the lid down, I HATE walking into the bathroom and seeing the lid up and unflushed. My room mate does that every time. Soooo gross.

[VibeChick]

Quote, originally posted by ragingfish »As to Canadians not locking doors, I noticed that when I was in Calgary. No doors had locks on them! Not even bathrooms. Very uncommon in the states...Hey!! All three my bathroom doors have locks on them!Maybe they are Jersey proof (kinda like child proof)? lol

[ragingfish]

Well, i also noticed it in other canadian places...I was in ontario a few years ago and noticed it...

[AKLGT]

you lock the door when you go to the bathroom? man, are you paranoid? lolwe have a lock, but i never lock it. in fact i leave the door open because downstairs is my domain of the house.... i walk around as i please. then again, maybe that's why i have no privacy... hmm... scratches head

[ragingfish]

When not at home, yes, I do. Had an experience when I was younger when someone didn't bother knocking and just walked in on me in the middle of my "business." Was not something I'd like to relive.

[VibeChick]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »you lock the door when you go to the bathroom? man, are you paranoid? lolwe have a lock, but i never lock it. in fact i leave the door open because downstairs is my domain of the house.... i walk around as i please. then again, maybe that's why i have no privacy... hmm... scratches headThat's true..I have locks, but I never use them. People don't usually come bursting through the closed bathroom door...

[AKLGT]

so what exactly are you doing in the bathroom that requires locking?

[Sputnik]

Quote, originally posted by ragingfish »When not at home, yes, I do. Had an experience when I was younger when someone didn't bother knocking and just walked in on me in the middle of my "business." Was not something I'd like to relive. Yeah my Aunt did this to me when I was a kid - and did she say "Sorry" and leave? No she proceeded to wash her hands.

[Pablo1669]

Quote, originally posted by Sputnik »Yeah my Aunt did this to me when I was a kid - and did she say "Sorry" and leave? No she proceeded to wash her hands.I hardly ever even close the door when I'm using the bathroom, unless there is a female in the house. Guys are just used to the "don't look" theory that applies to male public bathrooms. I am comfortable enough to use the bathroom while other people are in there with me.

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Pablo1669 »I hardly ever even close the door when I'm using the bathroom, unless there is a female in the house. Guys are just used to the "don't look" theory that applies to male public bathrooms. I am comfortable enough to use the bathroom while other people are in there with me. yep, i don't care either... people walk in and out of the bathroom when i shower too... and they talk to me... guess it's just what we're used to growing up.

[drunkenmaxx]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »yep, i don't care either... people walk in and out of the bathroom when i shower too... and they talk to me... guess it's just what we're used to growing up.can i come over to your house some time??