serious post from drunkenvibe

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 4:39 am

as many of you may have read in other posts, i moved out of my mothers house a little over a month ago. since then, neighbors have moved into the apartment above my house. it is a 1 bedroom apartment and a man woman and child have moved in. my landlord told me that the child is autistic and that the couple lied on their lease so that she could still recieve aid from the government, the guy is not on the lease, he must not be the father. the kid is 12 yrs old. often, i hear a loud thump, followed by the child screaming bloody murder as the hoosier motherf*cker upstairs is yelling and cursing at the kid. yesterday, i heard him say "you're lucky your mom is here". these occurences give me the shakes, along with nausea and a tremble in my voice, a scary reminder of similar things i endured as a child. there is no way i can live hearing this sh*t and do nothing about it. i can also hear the couple loudly having (removed) on a regular basis, if i can hear them, the child surely can, there is no door on their bedroom. my roommate and i, for pure satisfaction, have discussed catching the guy outside and having our way with him, then, drag him in our house, call the cops, and say he attacked us in our home,-but i don't know. anyone have thoughts or could share, or just some advice?

scherry2 · Post by **scherry2** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:08 am

call social services.don't take matters into your own hands, all that will get is trouble, don't lie tell social services the truth let them and the police handle it.

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:10 am

i am afraid that nothing will happen and the abuse will continue. they make it too easy for these f*cks to do it over and over. if the mother says nothing, which she won't, they will do nothing. no child should have to endure such fear. you get in more trouble for hitting an adult, what a crock. i might make the call though...

cibomatto · Post by **cibomatto** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:15 am

I don't know what privacy laws are in IL but if you have the means I would record them, try to record for hard evidence of abuse and once you get that contact social services. If all fails just call social service. If it doesn't help well at least there will be a start of a paper trail on them... Good luck and I know you will do the right thing..good luck...

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:17 am

i would imagine that i have the right to record anything i want if i can hear it in my own home, kind of like people can take naked pics of you if your windows aren't covered.

Flip-Side · Post by **Flip-Side** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:21 am

The problem is, if you make it known that you are aware of mis-treatment of the child, he will simply be more quiet or careful with the abuse. I grew up with close friends of mine who were abused daily. Calling the police did nothing because their mothers never said anything when asked about it. I personally would call the police everytime it happens. Eventually, he may slip up and leave marks on the child, and a government appointed prosecuter may be able to take the case without the mother's consent.If you take matters into your own hands, it would never end well for you, especially since you live near-by. Pranks on the other hand...they would not be wasted on such a person.

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:33 am

being pranked may just (removed) the guy off, guess who he would take it out on. i feel like i am between a rock and a hard place right now. you have no idea, unless you have been there, of the fear that a child feels being treated that way. every time the offender enters the room, speaks, clears their throat, takes a footstep, you are filled with paralizing fear. i could seriously kill this guy with my bare hands and have no remorse. (don't worry, i wont )i can't help but wonder if the kid was misdiagnosed, posibbly just having behavior problems stemming from abuse, or perhaps brain damage, from abuse, causing him to act this way-your point is exactly why i am most reluctant to act, he will get away with it, i know

MonotoneSatellite · Post by **MonotoneSatellite** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 5:46 am

This is a tough situation for you to be in. I don't envy the position you are in. But there is only one question you need to ask yourself:If you do nothing, who will?I'm not telling you to take matters into your own hands. You would spend more time in prison than he. But working within the flawed system is better than sitting idly by while this abuse is taking place.Good luck with this terrible situation. I hope it works out for the best.

cohocarl · Post by **cohocarl** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 6:03 am

Quote, originally posted by MonotoneSatellite Â»I'm not telling you to take matters into your own hands. You would spend more time in prison than he. But working within the flawed system is better than sitting idly by while this abuse is taking place.Agreed. My younger brother is autistic. Yes taking care of an autistic, or any handicapped person is very stressful and difficult at times, although the moron screwing his mother sounds like a complete *******. Definately not my definition of a man.It would give me extreme satisfaction unloading a clip of H.P.'s into his skull, although that is illegal. I would make calls to the police and protective services every time I believed the boy was being mistreated.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 6:52 am

Maybe you could have someone from social services come and visit YOUR apartment so they can hear what's going on for themselves, since you know the mother won't admit to it...

dmitri · Post by **dmitri** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 7:04 am

**** the ***** up. Im 17, and ive beat the **** out of grown men that give **** to their kids. I got in my neighbors face when he hit his son for doing nothing. Its ok to smack a kid around or spank for a legitimate reason, but hitting is different...

fire_502 · Post by **fire_502** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 7:10 am

Quote, originally posted by Kari Â»Maybe you could have someone from social services come and visit YOUR apartment so they can hear what's going on for themselves, since you know the mother won't admit to it...That sounds like a good idea. I wonder if they would actually do that. I say call social services. Or if you really feel that uncomfortable doing it yourself, talk to your landlord about it. Maybe the landlord could come over and hear for himself, and take it from there. Or you could just report it to the cops every time you hear it. They would probably set social services on them pretty quick after that. In any case, you should probably tell someone. Good luck.

dmitri · Post by **dmitri** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 7:10 am

doing that does nothing. sorry.dont be scared to get in the guys face.

Pablo1669 · Post by **Pablo1669** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 7:46 am

It sounds like many good suggestions have been made. Although beating the guy up isn't one, it sure would make you feel better, but don't do it. That would make things much worse. I do kinda like Fire's idea of having the people spend a little bit of time in your place. If Social Services won't do it, have another adult, someone that would be a highly credible witness to what is happening. The problem with having a cop come over, is that there would be a cop car out there, I don't think the guy would hit on this kid with a cop car parked outside, even though he doesn't know the cop is sitting in your living room listening. I think from your story, you should at least contact someone soon, so that you don't feel guilty for just letting it happen and doing nothing at all. That guilt is not good if something terrible were to happen. A good start would be to at least call social services and see what your options are for reporting the case before you just go ahead and do it. Without telling them that you know it's happening, find out what they suggest you do, and what could happen when you do what they suggest.Be like "hey, what would happen if I were to report a child abuse case?" you probably wouldn't even need to tell them anything more then that until you like what you hear and feel it's the right time to report it.

dmitri · Post by **dmitri** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:08 am

all pussies too. get in his face! that doesnt mean beat him up. it means talk sh*t until he tries something. he sounds like a b*tch to me.

joatmon · Post by **joatmon** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:59 am

call the cops and social services. That's what they are there for. They might not be able to solve the problem, but they are the right people to involve if there is to be any kind of permanent help for the child.Do not confront the man directly. You don't know how sane he is, what he might be on, what he might be carrying. Cool to think about getting in his face, no so cool to have some duster or crack head slice you open.

Flip-Side · Post by **Flip-Side** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:09 am

If anything, you can at least tape record any of the sounds from the appartment. That way when the cops arrive, you have at least something to prove there is abuse being commited. As far as confrontation, it is up to you. Just know that you will become part of the situation, and makes you involved. Depending on the guys character, like Joatman said, he could not take it lightly in the least.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:29 am

wow. sorry to hear that, dman. that is a very tough situation. i would definitely call the cops tho when it starts to happen. my boss told me about when he was younger and his neighbor would beat on his wife. he went to him and told him if he ever felt like hitting someone, to come find him and they would knock themselves out. if he ever heard him beating on her again, he'd knock his door down and kick his little b**tch a** himself! sure enough, he did it again and he went over there w/ the cops.... the woman later thanked him and said she was moving back home with her folks.... i'm not saying confrontation is right, but certainly do something than nothing at all.

c17il3 · Post by **c17il3** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:51 am

Call DSS and continue to call all the time every time you hear that guy do anything wrong. If you want I can give my mom a call and see what she says. She does crisis intake (social worker) for the county she might have some good ideas. If not, a grenade in his pants will do.

dmitri · Post by **dmitri** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 12:36 pm

man i swear alot of you people are afraid of confrontation!calling cops and **** never works. i see **** like this all the time since im from urban NJ and it happens alot. like i said, ive gotten in peoples faces. dont touch him, but confront him. If he touches you, then after that your acting in self defence.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 12:57 pm

Afraid of confrontation, no...smart enough to not do something idiotic, yes. Getting in anybody's face is just asking for them to kill you. Especially someone who is stupid enough to abuse a child.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 3:41 pm

a friend of mine in college used to work at a mall where shoplifters were notorious for lifting small items. he once cot this lady stealing a baby shoe and had security hold her there until the police came. she was so angry, he kept egging her on until she was screaming. finally, she reached out and hit him and wham, he had her with assault charges and plenty of witnesses. not only did she get booked with shoplifting, but also assault and resisting arrest!

Pablo1669 · Post by **Pablo1669** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:10 pm

Quote, originally posted by dmitri Â»man i swear alot of you people are afraid of confrontation!calling cops and **** never works. i see **** like this all the time since im from urban NJ and it happens alot. like i said, ive gotten in peoples faces. dont touch him, but confront him. If he touches you, then after that your acting in self defence. Wake up man, we're not afraid of confrontation, but like someone else said, if someone is sick enough to beat on a child... who is to know what that A-hole would pull on you? There is a lot to realize about how the world works man, you can't just go picking fights with anyone and everyone. You never know what some whack-job is hiding in his pockets, or strapped to his hip under his coat. It's pretty easy to get a CCW (carried-conceiled weapons) permit around here and you never know who's got one, or even worse, who doesn't have one but still has a gun. Pick your battles man, it's easy to say beat this guy up, but it's not easy if you don't even know what this guy is all about. Sh it man, you don't even know how big this guy is or what he's capable of, so relax a little on the beating this guys (removed) bit, it won't get you anywhere.Also, last time someone tried your routine (violence) on me, he got his (removed) whooped, and he was the one who got arrested for it. Someone I used to work with got fired, and he thought it was my fault, he came to work drunk looking to fight me, so I beat his (removed) after everyone saw him swing at me. He served 10 days in the local jail and got like 100 hours of community service. Are you sure it's worth it to take things into your own hands?

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:27 pm

thanks for your suggestions everyone, i guess next time i'll make a call, the popo station is about a block from my house, so i could hopefully get a quick response. it sure would feel great to pound this f*ck though! he's only about 5'6", i could punt this *****!

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 12:44 am

I'd have to agree with you Dmitri. Calling the cops and sh*t doesn't work all the time, plus, they should feel excrusiating(spelling)pain for these crimes...not go to prison and receive free food and an education!!!With my beliefs on life I would go up there and tear that b*tch apart...not physically. The way I see it, this life is only practice to learn experience for the lives you will live after this one and you need to do what you enjoy doing....forget about the consequences...just do it. You would get the message across to abussive parents all over the place. if you do get in trouble just think about what you've done...freed that poor kid from the tremendous fear and sorrow. You'll give him the rest of his life. You don't have to physically kill him, but prepare an arguement before hand and verbally tear them apart. Then after you take a shot at him you can call the cops and let them take care of the rest of it........My two cents......

joatmon · Post by **joatmon** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 1:23 am

Quote, originally posted by dmitri Â»man i swear alot of you people are afraid of confrontation! I admit that I would be afraid to get in this guy's face, rip him a new a$$hole, provoke him into a fight so I could beat the crap out of him. As satisfying as the violent confrontation may sound, I would be afraid, not for my own personal safety, but that he would take it out on the child. After all, you wouldn't have confronted him if it wasn't for that kid, right? Must be the kids fault. He'll show that kid what happens when he causes trouble ...The problem is how to help the child. The problem is not to seek revenge on the abuser. Not every problem can be solved through violence, in fact few can be solved well that way. If you want to feel all macho, go beat the crap out of him. If you want to protect the child, call the cops and social services. Are you afraid that someone might not thing you're man enough if you don't use violence to try to solve problems?

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 4:58 am

Sometimes it's not solving the problem that turn people to violence. It is anger and making the person suffer for what they've done, regaurdless if the problem gets solved or not...It's kind of like a parent scolding their child...the child doesn't like being yelled at so it desists whatever it was doing wrong...if you beat the hell out of someone it is so they don't do what ever they were doing again.Violence doesn't allways have to directly solve the problem. It solves inner conflicts, or emotions you are feeling. If you beat the sh*t out of a guy pushing around a "nerd" it's a relief to you inside that you did something good and gave that guy a taste of his own medicine...maybe he will think about it next time.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Tue Nov 25, 2003 12:08 pm

so, if you go beat this guy down, and boy, i'd love to do it myself, does that make you any better than him? by showing physical violence is ok as long as it's morally ok with you? what if i thought it was ok to kill people when i had a bad day? does that make it right for me to take someone else's life? i don't think so. and why the hell would you just do something violent and not care about the consequences? that's completely assinine! we'd have revenge killings, riots, rapes, and all kinds of chaos if everyone did what they felt like and didn't care about the consequences. that would be a very scary world.as much as we'd love to see this guy get his a$$ kicked, you do need to think about the child. he's only going to take it out on him or the mrs. domestic violence generally escalates until someone is in the hospital or dead. call the cops, start building your case. call child services, the school, whoever! but be careful so that you also don't get hurt.

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 5:24 am

People don't understand....it's not about being better than anyone..It's about punishing who ever for whatever they've done so they do not do what ever they did again.I gues you're right, since the kid is at risk in this case it may be best to do some recording and take it up in court, but I think that those people should feel pain for this crime and they difenately wont be feeling pain in prison, physically atleast. They'll just get out in some time and do it all over again but this time they know what mistakes not to make. Maybe if they are too old to have chlidren they will just kidnap other kids, or abuse other living things. Sometimes capital punishment would be nice, or maybe some kind of torturing method.

dmitri · Post by **dmitri** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 10:43 am

i dunno maybe its cause thats the way i handle ****. Also im pretty big...6'2...so i can...but then again im 17 so i dont get in as much trouble for stuff like that.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 1:45 pm

merzbow, i don't disagree with you, but in this day and age you really have to be careful. it doesn't do any good if you get yourself hurt by escalating the situation. now, personally, i would love to take this guy out back and beat the living sh** out of him, rip off his nads, etc. but that isn't accomplishing anything other than it would make ME feel good, not the child.plus dman is an adult and it's not like the movies where the cops go "good job for aprehending the bad guy!" you get slapped with assault charges too and then it's on your record. try putting that on a resume!

Stang2Vibe · Post by **Stang2Vibe** » Wed Nov 26, 2003 2:55 pm

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe Â» by showing physical violence is ok as long as it's morally ok with you? what if i thought it was ok to kill people when i had a bad day? does that make it right for me to take someone else's life? Excellent argument, trdvibe. You have exposed the completely bogus heart of moral relativism. Such a view would only lead eventually to anarchy and not solve a single thing as you began to explain. Excellent job. DRUNKENVIBE: PLEASE READ... As for taunting/provoking him into fighting you, you would be well advised to avoid this as well. Provocation is a legal defense in a court of law. If you sufficiently provoke another person into fighting you, even verbally (I believe that the law specifically cites calling into question one's parentage as an example), that person has a perfectly legal defense for kicking your a$$. Not to say that he would, but in the eyes of the law, he would be in the right and you would be sent off for sentencing. That doesn't solve anything and only makes things worse. The only outside voice that that child has may be yours and if you are in jail or discredited by acting against the abuser, you can't help him. Like others have said, this might make you feel good (I know I would derive great satisfaction from it) but it doesn't actually solve anything.You should contact the police/child services in your area and share all that you know about it. Keep a log of what you hear and when you hear it and share this with the authorities as well. It is amazing how much leeway child services and police are given in cases like this. There are notorius examples where innocent parents were demonized and had their rights seriously violated and the law looked the other way in favor of "protecting the child". I guarantee you that the police or child services would not take this lightly. If the police station is so close to your home, you should probably stop at the station to report this so no police cars show up at the house to tip off the abuser. If a police officer were sent to your home with your permission, I am sure they would arrive discreetly, and in an unmarked car. I don't know what the authorities would do to handle this, but they are the trained professionals who are assigned to deal with this properly. Like I said, you may be the only voice that this kid has, if you remain quiet, you are helping him no more than his mother is. If you really want to help this kid and end his horror (which you have appearantly shared in some ways) then you need to speak up for him since he cannot. And cooperate with the authorities on this FULLY, even if it is inconvenient for you. Who knows when this guy might snap out and go overboard with this kid. His life may potentially be in your hands.I also wouldn't say anything to the landlord yet, either. Let the authorities handle that. He might find some reason to kick the tenents out and then you couldn't help the kid anymore. I know this must be incredibly difficult for you, but every day that you keep quiet about this is another day that this kid must suffer like you did. You have the opportunity to help stop this kid's suffering. Please take advantage of this opportunity and handle this situation appropriately. If you are still not convinced, try this. Imagine that the child in question knows that you know about what is happening to him. Assume that he also knows that you suffered in a similar way in the past. Imagine that he secretly writes you a letter telling you that he knows these things and doesn't understand why you haven't helped him. What would he say to you? How would you answer him if he could confront you alone and face to face? I think you know what you need to do. Don't make this kid suffer any more while you search for the approval of others to report this. You have that apporval, now help that child.

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 9:30 am

Anarchy....is that such a bad thing? lol. I'm just kidding.

Stang2Vibe · Post by **Stang2Vibe** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 11:59 am

Hey drunkenvibe, I saw a commercial on TV on Thanksgiving Day that made me think of your issue. You can call 1-800-4A-CHILD and speak with a professional anonymously about helping this kid. I hope you'll do this. I think you'll feel better about it, too.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 10:01 am

Quote, originally posted by Stang2Vibe Â»Hey drunkenvibe, I saw a commercial on TV on Thanksgiving Day that made me think of your issue. You can call 1-800-4A-CHILD and speak with a professional anonymously about helping this kid. I hope you'll do this. I think you'll feel better about it, too.very good idea. dman, don't let this eat you up inside. obviously, you want to help this child out or you wouldn't be asking us all! we know you'll make the right decision (and there are several of them).

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 10:36 pm

well, the system prevails! sh*went down friday in the daytime, normal beating and whatnot. so, i called the cops. they showed up 20 min. later and were in their apartment less than 5 min. so, the lady knocks on my door and explains to me how her son is bipolar, blah blah blah, he bangs his head on things, blah blah blah. the cops actually told the kid to knock it off. sure, he may have these disorders, but i know an (removed) beating when i hear one. this is f*cking stupid. what kind of genius does it take? doctors suck. (quacks). obviously, the kid bangs his head on the wall because he has had the sh*t beat out of him so often, it's all he knows. f*ck the cops, f*ck that lady, f*ck that child beating assh*ole, and f*ck just about everything else.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 10:12 am

(removed)? so they didn't do anything? just the kid banging his head on the wall? that's not bipolar! hell, i'm bipolar and i don't knock my head against the wall!

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:02 am

HAHA I knew the cops wouldn't do anything! All of you people that say "ooooo call the cops do the mature thing...violence doesn't solve anything"well that's perfect proof that calling the authorities doesn't solve everything. So...I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes...I gues the next step would be to get a recording...though that wouldn't be winning evidence since "you could have recorded it off the internet" but I gues I would have to do a little spying with those little micro cameras...just run it up the balcony and in view of the window, maybe you'll get a clip of the wrong doings Please keep us informed of any current updates and events...good luck my friend:)

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:11 am

Sorry, I didn't mean to seem imature and snappy with my last post, but no one listens to anyone in this crazy world anymore so that's why I ahd a good feeling calling the police wouldn't work. It's just like a movie...eventually they will be discovered and put in their place.

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 9:48 pm

ha ha? are you proud that you were right?

Merzbow · Post by **Merzbow** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 10:24 pm

No, not at all. That's why i typed an apology in my last post:(

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 10:49 pm

i too figured the cops would do nothing. i went through plenty of various domestic issues when i was younger, the police take forever to get there and act like you are wasting their time when they finally show up. my roommates girlfriend broke into our house over the weekend while we were gone and trashed the place. the cops looked around and said pretty much that we could clean it up and no major damage was done. she dumped ashtrays all over, wrote on his wall, dumped beer all over his bed, etc. they blamed him and said that he probably drank too much!!

Pablo1669 · Post by **Pablo1669** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:56 pm

Quote, originally posted by drunkenvibe Â»my roommates girlfriend broke into our house over the weekend while we were gone and trashed the place. the cops looked around and said pretty much that we could clean it up and no major damage was done. she dumped ashtrays all over, wrote on his wall, dumped beer all over his bed, etc. they blamed him and said that he probably drank too much!! This just recently happen? Thats scary stuff man, she sounds a little unstable. I just recently (last night) broke up with my girlfriend, but I'm not too worried about something like that happening

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 11:59 pm

happened wed. night. got home about 2am and came home to a sh*thole. she wrote on his wall "How could you do this 2 me? I thought you loved me!" she also stole all of the pictures of his son that he had!

Charlievibe · Post by **Charlievibe** » Tue Dec 02, 2003 1:15 am

Okay first, your roomies ex-gf is psycho.As for the child situation...I didn't see anyone ask you this, but if they did, I apologize for the duplication, do you know any cops? If you do, you could have them come over in their civilian attire and just spend some time there.I know that calling the authorities (i.e the cops), maybe nothing will get done. But you have to do something. While I agree with you that the most satisfying solution would be to take care of the guy yourself, it is ovbious that this woman takes up with these kinds of men. The only legal solution you have is to call the authorities (i.e. not the cops, but DSS) and let the cards fall where they may. And if that doesn't work, well, then you are going to have to what you have to do - just don't get caught.And for the record, I called DSS on a co-worker who was dosing her children with Benadryll so they would sleep while she did bizarre (removed) things in the same room as her sleeping kids. She told me that one of the kids woke up in the middle of her 'thing' and she just gave him more Benadryll and resumed her 'thing'. I couldn't sit and let that go by. DSS took me seriously and investigated it. She did not loose her children, but they do watch her very closely and they check in with myself and another employee who co-reported her, to make certain the abuse is not continuing. So in my case, DSS did do their job and are looking after the children.

AKLGT · Post by **AKLGT** » Tue Dec 02, 2003 2:41 pm

wow. your roommate must date some strange women. as someone once told me (refering to my ex): "you know how to pick 'em." apparently, she was right.