How to wash a cat

[nerka]

How to wash a cat:1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl...2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse'.6. Have someone open the front door of your house, making sure there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak out of bathroom, and race outside where he will air-dry himself off.9. Both the toilet bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean.Yours Sincerely,The Dog

[wt2ga]

[djkeev]

This is too funny!!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing!!! Thanks!

[bodhi_tree777]

Okay, help me out here. I'm stuck on #5. I've flushed at least 6 times, and now there's water pouring out and the toilet is just running. And the cat has stopped making noise. I think he's giving me the silent treatment.

[lovemyraffe]

Should I feel guilty for laughing?

[djkeev]

Quote, originally posted by lovemyraffe »Should I feel guilty for laughing?Heck no! I've been chuckling all day having read this. I even sent it on to my cat loving family and friends.Dave

[epcIII]

That reminds of a cat's journal vs. dog's journal (do not know the author):Entries in a dog's journal:8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!Entries in a cat's journal:DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time......

[wt2ga]

[star_deceiver]

Who do I kill first!!!