Any advice?

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:18 pm

Just a little announcement. I'm getting married on April 3rd, 2010!!!!! Any advice for a long happy marriage?

star_deceiver · Post by **star_deceiver** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:29 pm

Congrats!!!!!You're about to join the rest of us...

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:35 pm

lolz. That's what I hear...nod and agree.."yes, dear"

ajflan · Post by **ajflan** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:45 pm

Well I don't have any good advice, being single all the friggin time, but I will definitely say congratulations man.

808 Vibes · Post by **808 Vibes** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:47 pm

Congrats! (though sorry, I wouldn't know. I can't find a specimen worth keeping)

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 11:54 pm

Thank you, thank you. One of my uncles' advice was, "Lots of hobbies!" He wasn't kidding either.lol. And another uncle just says, "....you didn't listen. You didn't listen."

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:11 am

Congrats!We're approaching one year of marriage for us and so far it's ok, I would say make sure you don't see each other ALL THE TIME cause you might go crazy like we are

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:21 am

Quote, originally posted by ponta2147 Â» I would say make sure you don't see each other ALL THE TIME Well I'm workin on that. We both work at the same place right now on the same shift. Grrrreat for gas...poor for having your own time.

Jharrison · Post by **Jharrison** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:24 am

The first year is definitely the hardest. Practice great communication. Don't nit pick about the little things, choose your battles wisely because in the end you are going to always be wrong.

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:27 am

Quote, originally posted by A Psycho Martyr Â»Well I'm workin on that. We both work at the same place right now on the same shift. Grrrreat for gas...poor for having your own time.Yes, we both work from home so we not only see each other all the time, we don't even get out of the house! Just as long as you have time to see friends or do your own thing every so often.

Barrett · Post by **Barrett** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:43 am

A happy wife is a happy life.

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:50 am

Quote, originally posted by Jharrison Â»in the end you are going to always be wrong. yup...10-4 Picked up on that one already j/kQuote, originally posted by Barrett Â»A happy wife is a happy life. Easy to remember for the forgetful type like myself

joatmon · Post by **joatmon** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 1:24 am

First, be sure you are getting married for the right reason. Don't do it to throw a big party. Don't do it to satisfy pressure from friends or family. It is only about you two, nobody else matters. You are makng a lifelong commitment to each other, dedicating the rest of your lives to each other, to do whatever it takes, good times and bad. Mean that, or don't go through with the ceremony and pretend you do. Remember that commitment the next time you have a disagreement, or are tempted. Go into it with your eyes open, and never allow even the possibility of breaking up. Treat divorce as not an option. Accepting that you are going to be "stuck" with that person forever, you'll make the compromises necessary to keep it a viable relationship, even after the intense infatuation stage passes. Some of those compromises will be being honest, open, communicative. Some will be doing without something you want. Express your feelings, pay attention to hers. Commit random acts of romance. If you are not willing to make and honor the commitment, forever, then don't lie to yourself and to her by getting married anyway.

Caretaker · Post by **Caretaker** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:28 am

I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone (and I'm 23 years into mine), DON'T DO IT!! That wisdom comes from someone who emphatically believes that:1. we just came out of the caves "yesterday"; don't fool yourself otherwise2. as such, we are not made to pair up. Marriage is a mere technicalityAs humans (who just came out of the cave), we need food, shelter, and companionship. It is the latter that we have morphed into the idea that we are to pair up, have children, and live happily ever after. Everyone changes, especially between the ages of 20-30. If I were dictator, no one would get married before age 30. Your exposure to new people, ideas, and places begin to shape who you are around age 30 as a result of having a few bucks in your pocket to be able to venture out from your "cave."Companionship is what it is all about, and as Leo Buscaglia always said, "we are all dying of loneliness." Don't confuse the basic need of companionship for marriage.Best wishes my friend.

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:18 am

Quote, originally posted by joatmon Â» It is only about you two, nobody else matters. Been over that with the famz.lol sigh...drama But all's good here. We know what we want, and are on the same page on ABOUT everything (she doesn't think my Vibe is as sexy as I DO). Lived with her for over 2 years, so I'm over THAT shock. I'm certain that I'm ready. Not tha least bit nervous about Saturday. Good advice.

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:26 am

Quote, originally posted by A Psycho Martyr Â» Been over that with the famz.lol sigh...drama But all's good here. We know what we want, and are on the same page on ABOUT everything (she doesn't think my Vibe is as sexy as I DO). Lived with her for over 2 years, so I'm over THAT shock. I'm certain that I'm ready. Not tha least bit nervous about Saturday. Good advice.Have lots of fun at your wedding! My personal advice is to be sober enough to actually remember it, but I know many of my friends probably did quite the opposite... to each their own I guess!I second all the advice on communication too. We were lucky in that most of our dating was long distance, so... we had no choice but to learn to talk with each other. It's helped a lot.

ou.grizzly · Post by **ou.grizzly** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:05 am

Congratulations!!!You do not have much time if you are planning the whole thing... I have <6 months myself and still need a photographer, videoographer, florist, DJ/Band, wedding cake, finalize the menu, dresses, tuxes, limo, and etc.

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:09 am

Quote, originally posted by ou.grizzly Â»Congratulations!!!You do not have much time if you are planning the whole thing... I have Wow! Too bad you're in Michigan (at least that's what the info on the side thingie says), I know a lot of great people for all of those things.

Old Tele man · Post by **Old Tele man** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:53 am

...two things my Dad told me when I got married:1) "Yes Dear" works2) "When Momma ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy!"...and, 38 years later, he's always been right.

epcIII · Post by **epcIII** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:41 am

Congrats man!Don't forget when you are married that it's still important to impress her (dress up nice on a date once in awhile, etc...) and that you still need to get to know each other (by still going on dates, etc...).Good luck and God bless.

808 Vibes · Post by **808 Vibes** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:05 am

Quote, originally posted by A Psycho Martyr Â»Lived with her for over 2 years, so I'm over THAT shock. Hey, hey, let's not forget to give her credit for getting over the shock of you too (and still wanting to go through with it LOL j/k)

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:39 am

Quote, originally posted by HawaiiPontiacLover Â»Hey, hey, let's not forget to give her credit for getting over the shock of you too (and still wanting to go through with it LOL j/k) Yeah...she finally made peace with me yelling at the tv when I'm playin Call of Duty on Xbox live >X-o Gotta give her props for that

zionzr2 · Post by **zionzr2** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:44 am

Quote, originally posted by joatmon Â»First, be sure you are getting married for the right reason. Don't do it to throw a big party. Don't do it to satisfy pressure from friends or family. It is only about you two, nobody else matters. You are makng a lifelong commitment to each other, dedicating the rest of your lives to each other, to do whatever it takes, good times and bad. Mean that, or don't go through with the ceremony and pretend you do. Remember that commitment the next time you have a disagreement, or are tempted. Go into it with your eyes open, and never allow even the possibility of breaking up. Treat divorce as not an option. Accepting that you are going to be "stuck" with that person forever, you'll make the compromises necessary to keep it a viable relationship, even after the intense infatuation stage passes. Some of those compromises will be being honest, open, communicative. Some will be doing without something you want. Express your feelings, pay attention to hers. Commit random acts of romance. If you are not willing to make and honor the commitment, forever, then don't lie to yourself and to her by getting married anyway.AMEN!!!

bull77 · Post by **bull77** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:05 pm

congrats!Quote, originally posted by Barrett Â»A happy wife is a happy life. ^^ this

TONY TAT2 · Post by **TONY TAT2** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:13 pm

Im on my 2nd marriage,the 1st lasted 5yearsthis 1 is goen on 29yeaars.advice,we get along,she has her intrests,I have mineshe didn't try & change me & viseversa CONGRATS !!!

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 10:23 pm

Quote, originally posted by TONY TAT2 Â»She has her interests, I have mine.She didn't try & change me, & viseversa I like it. Defintely agree.

Wolfman213 · Post by **Wolfman213** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 11:10 pm

Keep going out on dates! Just bc you are married doesn't mean you can't take her out on a date still. Just make sure it's with each other lol. When I was married, then wife went out on dates, unfortunately it was with another guy though lol.

star_deceiver · Post by **star_deceiver** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 12:12 pm

Quote, originally posted by TONY TAT2 Â»she has her intrests,I have mineshe didn't try & change me & viseversa Taking my wife to see the Backstreet Boys in Redmond: Tix, gas, & hotel - $300Her taking me to see Soilwork in Portland: Tix, hotel - $250Me getting Aaron Carters autograph for her (willingly) - Major brownie pointsCatching her Singing along to "Black Star Deceiver" by Soilwork: Major shock (both hers and mine) Have fun with it all!!!

jimincalif · Post by **jimincalif** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 12:31 pm

Congratulations!Remember, a husband can either be right OR happy!

audiovibe · Post by **audiovibe** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 1:18 pm

I agree with some of the others, the way to succeed in marriage IMO is have your own time and your always wrong.Congrats; I wouldn't trade married life for any thing.Aron

808 Vibes · Post by **808 Vibes** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:15 pm

Quote, originally posted by Wolfman213 Â»Keep going out on dates! Just bc you are married doesn't mean you can't take her out on a date still. Just make sure it's with each other lol. When I was married, then wife went out on dates, unfortunately it was with another guy though lol.NOooooo!!!! BOOoooooooooo!!!

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 9:25 pm

I'll be in Nashville, TN on the honeymoon. Any Vibers up there?

ab2cmiller · Post by **ab2cmiller** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 9:57 pm

Over 15 years ago a friend of mine gave me this advice right before I got married.Each morning when you wake up, snuggle up close to your wife, softly stroke her cheek, gently run your fingers through her hair, and finally whisper in her ear "I'm sorry for whatever I'm going to do today that is going to tick you off" LOL

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:01 pm

Quote, originally posted by ab2cmiller Â» "I'm sorry for whatever I'm going to do today that is going to tick you off" Because us men are BOUND to tick them off.... I may try this one out tomorrow

lovemyraffe · Post by **lovemyraffe** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:12 am

Congrats! The only advice I will give you is I hope you are ready to work for your relationship/marriage. It isn't always easy, but definitely worth it.

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:31 pm

I'm about to leave to try on my tux and make sure it fits right! I'ma look so fresh and so clean clean!

waveresponder · Post by **waveresponder** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:06 am

I'll throw this out there even though you guys are getting married very soon. Premarital counseling?^^^^whats everyones opinion on it^^^^good luck

lovemyraffe · Post by **lovemyraffe** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:15 am

Quote, originally posted by waveresponder Â»I'll throw this out there even though you guys are getting married very soon. Premarital counseling?^^^^whats everyones opinion on it^^^^good luck If I could go back and do it again (and I hope that I don't get married again) I would do premarital counseling.

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:24 am

Quote, originally posted by waveresponder Â»I'll throw this out there even though you guys are getting married very soon. Premarital counseling?^^^^whats everyones opinion on it^^^^good luck We did it sort of... we had a few sessions with our pastor in the months before our wedding. I'm not religious, but my husband is, so we figured it would be important. I'm pretty sure we would have been fine without it, but it was a nice practice in open communication and a positive experience overall.

star_deceiver · Post by **star_deceiver** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:05 am

Quote, originally posted by waveresponder Â» Premarital counselingAll the advice you get is good but nothing will solve your problems like communication!!!Take a class or two!

ou.grizzly · Post by **ou.grizzly** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:36 pm

Quote, originally posted by star_deceiver Â»All the advice you get is good but nothing will solve your problems like communication!!! Umm... Do they make a class for the parents of the bride?

star_deceiver · Post by **star_deceiver** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:43 pm

Quote, originally posted by ou.grizzly Â»Umm... Do they make a class for the parents of the bride? How about the bride and her mother.... (or is the arguing gene present in all mother/daughters)

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:59 pm

Never tried any outside help. We've just always discussed everything between ourselves. But I know before I divorced I would try every thing humanly possible to stay together.

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:52 pm

It's 11:50 pm and I've just ended my FULL day of running around! I'm spent.lolNow I just gotta remember to be there at 5 when the wedding starts tomorrow.lol Her dad keeps asking if I have my runnin shoes on

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:54 pm

Have lots and lots of fun! Because then after this you get to have the fun of helping her change her last name (if you guys are doing that). If so, man do you get to meet all the *best* government employees and bureaucrats!

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:55 pm

PS YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE ON HERE TOMORROW!!! *shakes fist*

ou.grizzly · Post by **ou.grizzly** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 1:59 pm

Quote, originally posted by A Psycho Martyr Â»It's 11:50 pm and I've just ended my FULL day of running around! I'm spent.lolNow I just gotta remember to be there at 5 when the wedding starts tomorrow.lol Her dad keeps asking if I have my runnin shoes on Should of asked him if he picked up some shells for the shotgun.

A Psycho Martyr · Post by **A Psycho Martyr** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:25 pm

Quote, originally posted by ponta2147 Â»PS YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE ON HERE TOMORROW!!! *shakes fist* Maybe once in the mornin, but after that....it'll be a couple days. Gotta put down my newest addiction

ponta2147 · Post by **ponta2147** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 2:26 pm

Quote, originally posted by A Psycho Martyr Â» Maybe once in the mornin, but after that....it'll be a couple days. Gotta put down my newest addiction Well... I actually brought my laptop with me to the hotel and after the reception we updated our Facebook relationship statuses.... *shame*

KNINE · Post by **KNINE** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 10:52 pm

Keep separate checking accounts. I don't care how much you love her or how much you trust her. That said, good luck.