Stupid Pet Behaviors

[bh357]

Well, we already have a cat in the forum who likes to ... well, you know... with stuffed animals. Anyone else have a pet who does or has done something obnoxious or otherwise goofy.Our cat learned how to drink out of the toilet rather easily.Also once when I was in the middle of scooping out his litter box, the little er popped a squat in the box and proceeded to do his business. I guess he doesn't have much modesty.

[Triton]

While changing my todler son, my cat will come up to the dirty diaper (whether it is #1 or #2) and proceed to try and bury the diaper in the carpet. It is rather hilarious to watch. This same cat also loves adhesive backed paper. Stickers, labels and scotch tape just to name a few things he chews on whenever it's around.

[Sputnik]

Yoda likes to stick his head in kleenex boxes and then it gets stuck so he ends up walking around with a box on his head. He also likes getting into bags and usually ends up with the handles around his body so the bag portion is on his back like a backpack. Sometimes he'll go nutty and start running around the apartment and jump up the wall - he can get up about 4 or 5 feet. Odi and Yoda like to lick each other. Not sure whats up with that. Usually they hate each other.

[bh357]

We haven't had Onyx long enough for him to do a lot of really stupid things (about 3 months). My sister's cats like to play a rousing period of "turd hockey". They'll go down to the litterbox, pull a nice "puck" out, and just bat away.Onyx does have quite the foot fetish. He's trying to nip at my feet as I'm typing this

[Sputnik]

Odi also has a bit of a foot fetish... he will sleep with his head in people's shoes. YUCK!

[Vibe]

My previous cat ---Holly would come and climb in my pants when I was sitting on the throne. She thought they were a hammock. She would look up and stare. I didn't like this but she always was by my side and was so devoted.Now my present cat Miss Bootsie---- PANICS when ever I take her sandbox out to the garage to scoop it. When I bring it back she has to walk in it to inspect it.The first day I had Miss Bootsie -------I was getting dressed after a shower and looked at me as if to say -What is that?Aren't they funny and curious creatures----------I guess that why I love cats so much. James

[Lancer]

When we brough our daughter home for the first time we weren't sure how Mika da cat would react. At first she hid from the baby. But every time the baby would start to cry, Mika would run up and be hovering around the baby. We couldn't figure out if the look she was giving us was an "Are you gonna turn this noise off?", or a "Hey, the baby needs you." type look.But very suprisingly, Mika is very gentle and patient with the baby. Especially since she's started walking and petting the cat. And sometimes yanking an ear or tail.Mika also loves laundry fresh from the dryer, she'll bury herself in the clothes. She has to have all the doors open and can't stand me being on the computer.

[Sputnik]

This reminded me of the cat rules:BATHROOMS:Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary todo anything. Just sit and stare.DOORS:Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand onhind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is notnecessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened,stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.CHAIRS AND RUGS:If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot managein time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is aslong as a humans bare foot.HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activityand the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping,"otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook.You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being tepped on and then picked up and comforted.2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk acrosskeyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lapacross arms, hampering typing in progress.WALKING:As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.BEDTIME:Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.LITTER BOX:When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the boxas possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.HIDING:Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you.Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. Thiswill cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you haverun away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover youwith love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.ONE LAST THOUGHT:Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your (removed) to them. Humans love this, so do it often.And don't forget guests.

[pmh013]

I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying. I hope nobody walks into my office to see me with tears running down my face!Anyway, my cat loves Q-tips. We now have to keep the bathroom door closed to keep her from eating them. She sucks the cottony ends right off, no matter what they were used for. She also "helps" to make the bed, by lying in the middle while you are trying to put the sheets on. Most often, you can find her sleeping in bed, under the blankets. What a suck!

[Sputnik]

I just love the cat rules. My mom sent them to me quite a long time ago and I passed them to the cat lovers at work. Its just so true. My cats do all those things.

[ullbergm]

2 cats...Jonas loves to turn the bed cover into a tunnel and attack anything that passes by the opening of his tunnel.He also likes to lick the walls.. weird cat....Habibi loves q-tips, she goes nuts if she finds one. She also likes to sleep under the covers between my wife and me. I've woken up with some scratches in interesting places, i must have rolled over on top of her in the middle of the night. (the cat that is.. )The cat rules reminded me of something i found a long time ago.. quote:Cat bathing as a martial artWhen that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under you arm and head for the bathtub:Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face mask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product- testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record is -- for cats -- three latherings, so don't expect too much.)Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But, at least now he smells a lot better.

[Vibe]

WOW!!!!! This is really turning into a really interesting thread. Ulbergm-----Great info!!And Sputnik -------The last and final thought you spoke about , I can relate to with every cat I have ever met. Holly did it and Miss Bootsie is following suit. What is it about their SOUTH END that they love to show off.......UCK!!!!!! But I must add -My sister's cat swallowed a Q-Tip and it was $1,400.00 dollars worth of surgery to unblock his intestine. Please be careful as you have to kid proof your house for our curious friends. James

[bh357]

A solution to another problem of cat ownership. Also illustrates the difference between cats and dogs. BTW, the drinking straw trick in step 8 worked on our cat. Didn't actually blow, just released pressure. Didn't want to hurt the guy. quote: How to give a pill to a cat and a dogCAT: 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As the cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and vigorously rub cat's throat. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13) Tie the little @#!*#^~!'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty Pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. DOG: Wrap pill in bacon, cheese or peanut butter. Make him beg.

[coratz]

had to get rid of a kitty that would take a crap in the litter box. the klitty then would talke out its own crap and fling it under the aparment front door right into the adjoining neighbours apartment. this kitty was mental right from the start, i gave it back to the spca

[coratz]

a little bit of catnip in your spouses pilliow case never hurt anyone

[ullbergm]

Speaking of bathing the cats... (they both have their claws...)Jonas does just fine, he just sits in the tub and screams at you.Habibi on the other hand is a little more interesting..Before we bathe her i put on a old jean jacket and some gardening gloves.. When i put her in the bathtub she attackes to the jean jacket and my wife can bathe her.. We came up with this method after some failed attempts without the jean jacket and gloves.. i still have a scarr somewhere from where Habibi dug her claw in and rotated it around a couple of times..

[bh357]

Haven't yet bathed our cat, but I've trimmed his claws. He is not too bad with the fronts. Usually you can get through one paws worth before he squirms to the point of having to let him go. Of course this is with the wife holding him. I can sometimes do one paw by myself, but usually can only get through 2 claws if I want to keep it painless. We attempted the back claws once, but will never do that again if we can avoid it. The cat went berzerk! Thankfully the back claws don't do much damage.