Pet Diaries

[rebbierae]

A DOG'S DIARY:7 a.m.--Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!8 a.m.--Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!9 a.m.--Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!Noon--Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!2 p.m.--Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!3 p.m.--Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!4 p.m.--Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!6 p.m.--Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!7 p.m.--Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!8 p.m.--Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!9 p.m.--Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!11 p.m.--Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!A CAT'S DIARY:Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It's only a matter of time.

[millster]

That's great!

[Mrizzle05]

Rebbie.. what did you do to your cat???haha. that was funnySounds like something from family guy only with stuie (sp)

[rebbierae]

I would never do anything to my Andy, Mr. Schiz! He saved my a** this morning! I forgot to turn my alarm on and he came in and woke me up to snuggle, and I realized what time it was and got to work JUST on time!

[Sputnik]

I love this! I sent it around at work a few years ago and I still love reading it. I can picture the cat thinking like that too!

[ashleymc_38]

Quote, originally posted by Mrizzle05 »Sounds like something from family guy only with stuie (sp)haha, thats funny, cause that right there is totally true. This totally sounds like something my cat would be thinking. I've never seen a cat that begs for food, tears up the furniture, and is as psycho as mine...I dont know if I ate to much for lunch or if that little story was as funny as it was cause i can't stop laughing.

[keithvibe]

That IS my house exactly. The cat hates the dog and the dog loves everything.

[MRCN RCE]

lol good one. as much as i hate cats, that one's worth savin

[NascarXprt]

hahaha this is great! very funny.