Because I'm a man

[Thewhite]

a friend of mine posted this on an other forum, and I thought I should share it withyou guys.Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in. Because I'm a man, (this one applies for so many of us!!!)when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu'. For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances expect me to pick up anything for which 'feminine hygiene product' is a euphemism. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger? I mean, how could he know where we're going? Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either (removed), cars, beer, or football. I always have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest

[Mavrik]

I ask for directions and know what I'm looking for under the hood... heh

[NascarXprt]

Quote, originally posted by Thewhite »Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (although one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator). Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either (removed), cars, beer, or football. I always have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? these are what got me cracking up

[northvibe]

HAHHAH those are great!

[TRDman]

Does anyone find it the least bit disturbing that no women have voiced their thoughts here? Just wondering.

[northvibe]

these are all "stereotypical" men jokes, so it might offend some people anywhere, maybe thats why some men and women arent posting :/

[Thewhite]

Quote, originally posted by northvibe »these are all "stereotypical" men jokes, so it might offend some people anywhere, maybe thats why some men and women arent posting :/I think we have to be able to laugh of ourself. If I hurt anyone, I apologize, I put this because I (removed) when I read it and I wanted to share it with you guys AND gals...

[northvibe]

hey i agree it was super funny, but i was just replying to trdman as a reason not as many people posted maybe? so no harm done it was a good laugh, i shared with many people hey i have 1337 posts!!!

[Thewhite]

Quote, originally posted by northvibe »hey i have 1337 posts!!!uber 1337!!!

[Mavrik]

Quote, originally posted by northvibe »hey i agree it was super funny, but i was just replying to trdman as a reason not as many people posted maybe? so no harm done it was a good laugh, i shared with many people hey i have 1337 posts!!!Oh the leet 1337 skills eh? better not post again.

[northvibe]

i ruined it, but i took screen shots ahahhahah im way to nerdy