Super Bowl in Detroit

[ToolGuy]

For all the visitors, from other than Michigan,coming to the Super Bowl in January.1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It'sDeh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we willassume you are here for the country Music hoe-down.2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its ownversion of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rushhour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursdaymorning. Weekends are open game.4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line whenthe light turns green, count to five before going across theintersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic whojust ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroitmetro area. That goes for Gratiot too.6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375,The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and forever.Just deal with it.7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably afactory defect or they are "out-of-towners"8. All old men (or women) with white hair wearing a hat have totalright-of-way.9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless ofthe posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh,and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit isNOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take pictures.11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker thatsays "Keep honking, I'm reloading", he/she is.12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone,people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I wouldsuggest you duck.13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have amap.17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, thenmake another left, then make a right when you get back to theintersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOWyou have gone left.18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph???? DON'T EVENASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!WELCOME, ENJOY YOUR STAY, BUT AVOID EYE-CONTACT WITH THE LOCAL