Funny Movie quotes!

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:14 am

Any one like quotes like me? Just wanted to start posting some nifty quotes from some movies!

ToolGuy · Post by **ToolGuy** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:15 am

OK I will play...English mother F-er, do you speak it? Say what one more time! Sam Jackson - Pulp Fiction...

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:18 am

-"Drum" after receiving a slice of cake at his daughters wedding. the cake was shaped like an armadillo. "Weezer" (cutting the cake for everyone) who he bickers with constantly, cuts the (removed) off of it and gives it to him. (movie=Steel Magnolias)"thanks weezer, nothing like a good peice of (removed)"

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:20 am

Wedding Crashers 2005- Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseyeLost In Translation- Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out? Lost In Translation- What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food? Gone With The Wind- Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar.Casablanca- As the leader of all illegal activities in Casablanca, I am an influential and respected man

ZubenElGenubi · Post by **ZubenElGenubi** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:38 am

Nothing like the Thin Man series for snappy comebackers...Nick: "I'm a hero. I was shot two times in the Tribune."Nora: "I read where you were shot five times in the tabloids."Nick: "It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids."---------------Nora: "How did you find me here?"Nick: "I saw a great group of men standing around a table. I knew there was only one woman in the world who could attract men like that. A woman with a lot of money."---------------Nora (to Nick on the train): "Are you packing?"Nick (in between swigs): "Yes dear, I'm just putting away this liquor."---------------Nora: "Do you have any pictures of you as a baby?"Nick (trying to sleep): "No."Nora: "Oh, that's a shame. I would have liked to have seen you as a baby."Nick: "I'll have some taken in the morning."

Toolman · Post by **Toolman** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:07 am

Once upon a Time in Mexico "No. I'll shoot the cook. My car is out back, anyway"

binary · Post by **binary** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 4:45 am

Kelly's HerosCrap Game (Don Rickles) "Make him a deal." "You know, a deal... deal"Reservoir DogsMr. Blonde: Hey Joe, you want me to shoot this guy? Mr. White: [laughs] Sh*t... You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

drunkengirlfriend · Post by **drunkengirlfriend** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:01 am

Where the heart isSister says prayer at the table with Mr. Sprok and Americus (2 month old baby)"Lord we thank you for the food you have given us to nourish our bodies. and lord we ask you for forgiveness for the fornication committed by Mr. Sprok and me this morning on this very table, Amen"

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:19 am

"Move head, NOW!!!" (So, I married an axe murderer) also" Head, Pants NOW!!!

Mase · Post by **Mase** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:35 am

That thing's got eet's own weathuh system! He's gonna be cryin' heemself to sleep tonight on 'is huge pillah.Quote, originally posted by 4X4CHICHI Â»"Move head, NOW!!!" (So, I married an axe murderer) also" Head, Pants NOW!!!

redlava · Post by **redlava** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:02 am

"I got news for you pal, you ain't leading nothing but two things right now, Jack and Sh**. And Jack left town."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------To an old and possibly dead woman from the underworld: "Lady I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store."Woman in raspy voice: "Who the Hell are you?""The name's Ash." sound of gun being cocked "Housewares."------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bruce Campbell, Army of DarknessOne of the greatest character actors of our time.

ColonelPanic · Post by **ColonelPanic** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:50 am

"What the f___ is the internet?"

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:53 am

"No! no! Mini-Me... we don't gnaw on our kitty."

GMJAP · Post by **GMJAP** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 12:55 pm

A classic:"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ((removed)). And I'm all out of bubblegum."-They Live

cohocarl · Post by **cohocarl** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 6:06 pm

Joey, you like movies about gladiators? When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-xx, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross! And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fxxxxxx nowhere with fxxxxxx keys to a fxxxxxx car that isn't fxxxxxx there. And I really didn't care to fxxxxxx walk down a fxxxxxx highway and across a fxxxxxx runway to get back here to have you smile at my fxxxxxx face. I want a fxxxxxx car RIGHT Fxxxxxx NOW! Who was the best pilot I ever saw? Well, uh, you're lookin' at 'im.Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.

Mr. Poopypants · Post by **Mr. Poopypants** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:01 pm

CaddyShack:Al Chervik: I bet you were something before electricity, wanna make $14 the hard way.Emperor's New Groove:Easma: I know how I'll do it, I'll turn him into a flea and I will put him in a box. Then I'll put that box inside another box, then I'll mail that box to myself and when it comes, I'll smash it with a hammer. Sin City:(Bad Guy after the arrow goes right through him):Heeey. Billy Madison:Billy, after being asked what he would like to do with his teacher:I can think of 3 things I'd like to do. The first involves some ice cubes and a 9 iron. The second involves a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferrably stuffed for safety reasons. And the third, bring back some of those ice cubes but switch it over to a pitching wedge.Tombstone:Doc Holliday:Looks like Johnny is an educated man, yep, now I really hate him.Bull Durham:Crash: Well, I believe in the soul. The c**k. The p***y. The small of a woman's back. The hanging curveball. High fiber. Good scotch. That the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve. And I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days...Goodnight.

Sputnik · Post by **Sputnik** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:42 pm

LOL. I love that one.

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:36 pm

"My brother and I used to say that drownin' in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he's not here, and I've got two soakers... this isn't heaven, this sucks!" -Bob McKenzie, Strange Brew (my all time favorite movie )

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 11:39 pm

"If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you."-Bob McKenzie, Strange Brew

Mr. Poopypants · Post by **Mr. Poopypants** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:16 am

SlapshotOne of the Hansons:Gimme a grape or orange, but none of that friggin' root beer.SlapshotThe Goalie:Who own da chiefs?Clerks:Customer: "Do you have Happy Scrappy Hero Pup?"Randal: "Well, I am on the phone with the distributer, I'll check if it's in stock. What's the name again?"Customer: "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup."Randal: "Ok, do you have the folllowing movies...* Randal orders several porno movies with titles I can't post here.*. Ok, that's all. (to customer) Wait, what was it you wanted again?"The Big Lebowski:The Dude: Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill!CaddyShack:Ty Webb: Danny, this isn't Russia.......this isn't Russia is it?Best In ShowAnnouncer: A bit off topic here, but what do you think I could bench?AnchormanRon: That's baby making music right there, that's what that is.DodgeballPeter: ...I'm gonna put the Thong Song on and tear this place apart.

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:56 am

ACE Ventura (holding up three fingers) "for seven years I train zee dolphin."

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:01 am

Napoleon Dynamite-Napoleon Dynamite: So, we're pretty much friends by now, right? Pedro: Yes. Napoleon Dynamite: So, you got my back and everything, right? Pedro: What? Napoleon Dynamite: Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore. Napoleon Dynamite: [referring to Deb's milk] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Wedding Crashers-John Beckwith: What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your (removed) again. John Beckwith: Sorry I'm late. Jeremy Grey: No problem. John Beckwith: I'm sorry I called you white trash. Jeremy Grey: I forgive you. John Beckwith: And I'm sorry I called you hillbilly. I don't know what that means. Jeremy Grey: John, it's all right. Do you mind if I get married now?Batman Begins-Ra's al Ghul: Justice is balance. You burned down my house and left me for dead. Consider us even. Jim Gordon: [hearing bat sounds] What's that? Bruce Wayne: Back-up. Lt. James Gordon: [trying to escape slums] I'll get my car. Batman: I brought mine. Lt. James Gordon: [Batmobile blasts out of a garbage heap and races by] I have got to get one of those. Rachel Dawes: You could die. At least tell me your name. Bruce Wayne: It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me.

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:14 am

billy madison:he called the > poop!

fortiffany · Post by **fortiffany** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:42 am

Doom 2005-Sarge: Listen up men, we're going in hot. Sarge: If it breathes, kill it. Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire-Professor Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Avada Kedavra! The killing curse. Only one person is known to have survived it, and he's sitting in this room. Fight Club-Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me as hard as you can. Narrator: What? In the face? Tyler Durden: Surprise me. Narrator: This is so f-ing stupid.Tyler Durden: Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility! Marla Singer: Candy stripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem. Narrator: First person that comes out this f-ing door gets a... gets a *lead salad*, you understand? Tyler Durden: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your (removed) does not make you a chicken. SinCity-Marv: I love hitmen. No matter what you do to them, you don't feel bad.Marv: She smells like angels ought to smell. The perfect woman. The goddess. Marv: I had to fight some cops. Lucille: Oh, that's lovely. You didn't happen to kill any of them, did you? Marv: Nah, I don't think so, but they know they been in a fight, that's for sure. Senator Rourk: Tell anybody the truth and they're dead!

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 1:58 am

"Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own (removed)."-William Wallace, Braveheart

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:01 am

Wayne's world " a sphincter say what?"

joholste · Post by **joholste** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:35 am

another one from anchorman,i killed a man with a trident""I saw that you might want to lay low for a while"

binary · Post by **binary** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:52 am

Quote, originally posted by GMJAP Â»A classic:"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ((removed)). And I'm all out of bubblegum."-They LiveOh my god.. how could I have forgotten that quote!? Thanks for picking that one up.... that movie rocked!

kostby · Post by **kostby** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:11 pm

".. a bear in his natural habitat: A Studebaker!" -The Muppet Movie-

ZubenElGenubi · Post by **ZubenElGenubi** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:14 pm

Quote, originally posted by fortiffany Â»Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire-Professor Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Avada Kedavra! The killing curse. Only one person is known to have survived it, and he's sitting in this room. Yeah, that one cracks me up everytime I've never seen it in the theaters yet!= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Back ON TOPIC for funny quotes, I turn to School of RockNed: "Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so, I don't know, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something." Dewey: "What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?" Rosalie Mullins: "This is considered the best elementary school in the state, and we maintain that by adhering to a strict code of conduct, faculty included." Dewey: "You know what, you don't have to worry about me. Because I'm a hard-(removed), and if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking him in the head." Rosalie Mullins: "No, no, no. We don't use corporal punishment here." Dewey: "Okay, so just verbal abuse?" Dewey: "All right, look, here's the deal. I've got a hangover. Who knows what that means?" Frankie: "Doesn't that mean you're drunk?" Dewey: "No. It means that I was drunk yesterday." Freddy Jones: "It means you're an alcoholic." Dewey: "Wrong." Freddy: "You wouldn't come to work hung-over unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease." Dewey: "Hmm, hmm. What's your name?" Freddy: "Freddy Jones." Dewey: "Umm, Freddy Jones, shut up." and the list goes on and on!!! (I'm gonna have to watch SoR instead of the World Series if those Astros don't cheer me up soon!)

Atomb · Post by **Atomb** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:18 am

Road Trip:"...but what if it's YOUR dog?"

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:52 am

Quote, originally posted by Atomb Â»Road Trip:"...but what if it's YOUR dog?"ha ha!>"well i guess i'm out 'cause i had (removed) last night! with a girl!"

redlava · Post by **redlava** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 10:00 am

Quotes from Major LeagueWhile riding in their delapidated DC-3 team airplane through a thunderstorm. Willie: â€œCall the stewardess, Vaughn, I need one of those bags!â€Vaughn: â€œThere aren't any stewardesses!â€Willie: â€œI wonder if there are any pilots?â€ Lou to Willie "You hit like Mays, but you run like sh**." Bob Uecker â€œPost-game show is brought to you by ... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it!â€

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:49 pm

Quote, originally posted by redlava Â»Quotes from Major LeagueLou to Willie "You hit like Mays, but you run like sh**." you got that backwards chief! it's run like mays.... also lou to willie after making a basket catch:nice catch hays, don't ever fing do it again.

bud_one · Post by **bud_one** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:43 pm

Napoleon Dynamite.....Pedro : "It's a sledgehammer" all calm with no emotion.....cracks me up ........

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 5:25 am

" but my lips hurt real bad"

bud_one · Post by **bud_one** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 5:47 am

Napoleon gets hit in the face with a steak.....Kip: "That's what I'm talking bout'!!"Classic...... lol.....

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:03 am

"your mom goes to college"

redlava · Post by **redlava** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:51 am

Thanks Drunken, you are correct. It has been a while since I have seen that movie and I got a little mixed up. But I did think of another Bob Uecker quote.Bob "One godda** hit?!" Other Announcer covering mike "You can't say godda** on the air."Bob "Who cares, nobodies listening anyway." His quotes are absolutely hysterical. So many it is impossible to remember them all.

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:30 pm

One of the greatest movies of all time, The Princess Bride.Miracle Max (Billy Crystal)" Have fun storming the castle"his wife asks" do you think it will work?""It would take a miracle."

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:40 pm

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Does your dog bite?Hotel Clerk: No.Inspector Jacques Clouseau bowing down to pet the dog: Nice doggie.[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand.]Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

tnpartsguy · Post by **tnpartsguy** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:48 am

name the movie."Time is fleeting, madness takes it's toll"

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:57 am

Quote, originally posted by tnpartsguy Â»name the movie."Time is fleeting, madness takes it's toll"rocky horror turd movie.

ZubenElGenubi · Post by **ZubenElGenubi** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:59 am

Name the movie...."Start another Thread, Dude!"

drunkenmaxx · Post by **drunkenmaxx** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:01 am

Quote, originally posted by ZubenElGenubi Â»Name the movie...."Start another Thread, Dude!" been there, done that (i got guns, i got straps)http://forums.genvibe.com/zero...age=1

ZubenElGenubi · Post by **ZubenElGenubi** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:22 am

Another PB fan...and quote:Vizzini: Inconceivable!Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

NascarXprt · Post by **NascarXprt** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:25 am

Ron Burgandy: first lets lay down the rules. 1. no hiting of the face or hair.the spanish new network (ben stiller):yearon burgandy:and thats it lets do it!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ron Burgandy:Brick! where did you get a hand grande?Brick: idont know.

4X4CHICHI · Post by **4X4CHICHI** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:51 am

PB "stop that rhyming, and I mean it.""Anybody got a peanut"