If I cant have you, No one can! (except maybe the police) *just a rant*

[BryanC7020]

Holy ****ing hell (do excuse the french). I go to meet my now ex wife for dinner and to see my little girl, Gabrielle. I buy her dinner, over the course of which she decides to steer the conversation toward more serious matters, and eventually gets all upset at my truthful and to-the-point answers (apparently, the truth really does hurt, but trust me, it wasnt one sided, I was being barbed in the throat repeatedly by unnecessary insults). Finally the conversation concludes outside with me telling her if this is how our after-marriage friendship was going to go, I didnt want to have any part of it. I told her I loved her one last time, handed her my ring (trust me, you wouldnt want memories either), and drove off.In the midst of our outside conversation, she made the comment "... I am so upset, I just dont know if I can make it home..." so half a mile up the road I am crying so hard, and suddenly I start having visions of her driving along and suddenly breaking down and swerving off the road into a tree or something, and mean or not, she is my ex wife, and I still love her, and on top of that my little girl, who is my life, is in the car, so I turn around, and I start following her home. (It's dark by now). She finally realizes it about 10 miles up the road and pulls of an exit, I'm still crying while she starts yelling at me "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!" being that I was in tears, I was unable to answer her, so her ranting ends with a "FINE! if you wont talk to me, then whatever!" so she drives off. STILL Concerned with her well-being, I follow her back up on the highway towards the house.We get about 15 minutes from the house (I live in GA and she lives in TN, its about a 1:30 drive and we met halfway), I suddenly see lights in my rearview mirror. It's a truck, so I figure, it's an ambulance, so, being a good citizen, I move to the center turn lane to get out of his way so he can pass, but it follows me and blares its siren louder, and suddenly I realize "WHAT THE ****, ITS A COP!!!!" I look down, I'm not speeding, I'm wearing my seatbelt, all the lights are working, and I am thinking "What on earth???" So I pull over, and I look behind, and its not one, or two, or even THREE COP CARS, its a whole ****ing Squad of FIVE SQUAD CARS with a total of 8 cops in them!!!!!The freaking cops pull guns on me, and tell me to put turn off the car, crack my drivers door and put my hands out. I comply, and we go through the whole ordeal of getting me down on the ground, and some cops reaches for my wallet (nothing like getting fondled by the peach fuzz). After laying on the ground answering heated questions about why I am following her, they finally let me stand up and take the hand cuffs off (mmmm, yah, nothing like hand cuff marks on your wrists to say I love you!)As I begin to explain to the police offer what has occured, I look up around me, and an additional three squad cars have showed up, now totalling more cops than I care to count, and I start thinking back..... holy hell, all those guns were drawn on ME!!!Now at this point you need to understand, I have never been pulled over, EVER. Not for a ticket, not for ANYTHING, I have never even had to talk to a cop unless I wanted to, and now I am on the ground with like 12 guns pointed at me? Yah thats comforting.....So finally after half an hour of telling these cops what was going on, they send me on my way (a 55 minute drive from where I was to home). I get here, and I call my mother to tell her not to even bother with them, because at this point I am freaking HOT AS HELL.I listen in awe as my mother begins to tell me how she has been on the phone with meggan's lawyer who is trying to find me so he can serve me my papers first thing in the morning. I AM NOW BEING SUED FOR HARRASMENT, THREATENING ACTIONS, MENTAL ANGUISH, AND THE SOLE CUSTODY OF MY DAUGHTER.What the ****? All because I care too much...... Like Xena always said, "A Good Deed, never goes unpunished..."

[BOZACK]

Ex wives suck. I am one of the lucky ones. I haven't heard from mine in a good number of years. But I don't have kids. I feel bad that your going through this hell. My best to you.

[Mavrik]

WOW... well hopefully all the cops who showed up to make sure you stopped can testify just how not dangerious you were... I don't have any advice really cause I've never been through that before myself. Take care and hope it all works out... I think just one "follow the ex home" can't get your child from you. If so thats just terrible.

[djpositivek]

Sorry to hear about your situation... Sounds like you had one hell of a day.I can't believe how different things are in the U.S. and Canada. No offense to anyone but in Canada you'd be lucky if an officer would have even pulled you over. Sounds like there was no reason for all the cars and guns.

[Mavrik]

yeah... can't say I've ever actually seen the cops in canada all out in force with guns... but I wouldn't want to mess with one. Last summer a guy took his ex wife hostage in TO and was waving a shot gun, had fired and wounded someone with it already... one clean head shot from a sniper and the guy was down... still...I think those cops overreacted by swarming you with guns drawn. heck you were driving along, how threatoning was that?

[jake75]

We have all read too many stories about distraught ex-spouses harming (even killing) former spouses and children so I can understand the police concern.

[BryanC7020]

the point isnt really what the cops did, its the fact that even after being married to me, and me never ever doing anything that would harm her or my child, or saying or doing anything threatening that she could still think that. She knows better, and even she has said so to me now.Last night she called and apologized and dropped the charges because I refused to talk to her, and apparently that drives her nuts anywho, this whole thing is crap, now I am gonna have this crap on my record unless I can get her to go to court and testify that it wasnt necessary.

[MACMANIAC]

Sorry that happened to ya man. Having been in the court room for numerous domestic violence cases (many of whom I thought were ridiculous) I can tell you exactly why the police react the way they do now. In a lot of these cases (and no, I am not saying yours) we see people with NO prior history of violence or of criminal activity take great measures to harm their spouse. Many times rational thought seems to go right out the window because of the HUUUUUUGE emotional and mental anguish and trauma. I have seen women attack a fellow officer during the arrest of her husband minutes after he had beaten the wholly hell out of her! Sounds crazy, but it is so common we have to try and have AT LEAST two officers respond on ANY domestic disturbance for officer safety reasons. In your case, it sounds like she wanted (for whatever reason) to stick it to you a little and did not realize it would lead to this much of a problem. The officers that responded to her 911 call were no doubt advised by their dispatcher that a restraining order had been filed and thought you were stalking her. That coupled with your ex possibly telling them you were in tears and did not say anything anything when she asked you why you were following her, and also adding the story of your argument during dinner, only escelated the call. I am not justifying every cop in the county responding but the stop, or "Felony car stop" as we call it here, is pretty much standard fare. I would imagine the extra officers heard the call and went to make sure everything was all right. Usually for us it entails the initial car, a backing unit, and one or two supervisors (if available). The additional units we usually have clear the scene if not needed, unless the stop has traffic backed up due to rubberneckers (you know who you are "Oh look, flashing lights....must slow down to 20.....have..to see..what is...happening.. ) clogging the roadway.Anyway, I hope things go better for you. I am glad that the whole thing was dropped. I've seen people have stalking charges filed on them after the ex???? sees them drive by the house a few times. Never mind the fact that a good friend still lives on the block and they went there to visit, "I'm bein' stalked!". Next thing you know you get pulled over for a slow and go at a stop sign and you have an officer saying "Mr/Mrs/Ms So and So, would you step out of the car please? We have a warrant for your arrest". (based on a true story, no not mine)Things could have been a lot worse. Hopefully, you and the ex can patch things up a little and make it smoother for your little one. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Me not being able to see my two little punkins every day would be brutal. Good luck and hang in there

[BryanC7020]

thanks for the officer insight there mac, but yah I thought it was pretty rediculous that the whole freaking county showed up including two or three sherriffs.My ex did call me and apologize, she said she was going to call the PD and ask them to strike the report from my record, but I dont think that's even possible. At least I already have a good job and dont have to worry about a record check anytime soon.BTW mac, that joke and the end of your sig, is the funniest damn thing I have ever seen. Jeff, a guy I work with, that's his general attitude about everything, he loved it so much he printed it out and hung it on the front of his desk in big bold letters. lol.

[Charlievibe]

Quote, originally posted by MACMANIAC »In your case, it sounds like she wanted (for whatever reason) to stick it to you a little and did not realize it would lead to this much of a problem. The officers that responded to her 911 call were no doubt advised by their dispatcher that a restraining order had been filed and thought you were stalking her. That coupled with your ex possibly telling them you were in tears and did not say anything anything when she asked you why you were following her, and also adding the story of your argument during dinner, only escelated the call. Speaking ONLY from watching some of my friends, there is the chance that she did it SOLELY to get a rise out of you hoping that you would run back to her. I had a friend issue a restraining order against her ex thinking he would call her and want to discuss it. It bit her in the backside and he went the other way. Sometimes, people can be spiteful and hateful when a relationship ends because they don't want to let the other person go. I hope for your sake and your daughter's sake that she is done with her foolishness.You know something she hasn't considered that jumped straight to my mind? With her unpredictable responses and her weird actions (i.e."He's after me, no he isn't really, I made that up."), you could theoretically go after sole custody of your daughter. If she keeps this stuff up, I would think about it. Make certain you document EVERYTHING that is unusual, strange phone calls, recorded phone conversations, answering machine tapes of strange messages or threats, what happened the other night and all of that kind of stuff. You might one day need it.Sorry you had to go through it, especially since you were already in an upset state of mind. That whole thing didn't help. I hope that everything works out for the best in this situation, most especially for your daughter.

[BryanC7020]

yah, I dont understand why so many women are so into revenge, its highly immature imo. Why cant I just get lucky and find a good woman who's not immature? Geeze, its like I attract all the world's most immature women.Just a message to the general populace of immature women of all ages: GROW THE HELL UP, being immature is NOT attractive!And personally, if I ever found out that my current g/f had done something like this, ever, to a b/f, for spite or not, I would most likely dump her (removed) right them and there.Just to update you guys, I refused to talk to her since it happened, and she has since called me repeatedly apologizing profusely saying "I didnt know what I was doing, I dont know what I was thinking, I was just freaked out." etc, mostly trying to be nice because I in fact, did tell her, if this was the home my daughter could look forward to growing up in, I indeed was going to apply for full custody of her.

[NascarXprt]

HOLY S*** 8 cop cars total and a s*** load of police officers, hope kept your dignity(not soiling you self with all of those guns).

[BryanC7020]

lol, yah, I was fine, I used to hang out with the polce, I was just hoping that the newb's didnt get an itchy trigger finger.

[Charlievibe]

Quote, originally posted by BryanC7020 »my current g/f I can tell you from watching my friend, this is what her problem most likely can be attributed to. You have moved on, she hasn't. She is suffering a lot of angst and you have done the TOTALLY right thing to let her know where you stand concerning your daughter. You sound like a great guy with his head fastened on correctly (I have met a lot of guys who aren't), I will keep my fingers crossed that your current g/f is "the one"!!!

[BryanC7020]

lol, no current g/f, just saying if I had one lol. Sorry for the mix-up. I get to leave work in an hour, yay! 10 hour shifts day after day after day after... well, you get the idea.... gets a little tiring, lol. As for having moved on, yah, I moved on before we even seperated, so I've already been through the whole seperation emotional stage thing, and she hasnt. Unfortunately, there's nowhere to go to meet people where I am, lol, kinda sucks! Everything is freaking happen-chance here! GRR!!

[NascarXprt]

yea i gust went thru it to last wed. we were goin out for 4 months exactly and she said that she could see past a best friend. she was perfect until then, man it sucks.