The Girlie Man Handbook

[AKLGT]

THE NEW 2004 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEE GIRLIE MAN HANDBOOK by ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGERSICK DAYS - We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.PERSONAL DAYS - Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.LUNCH BREAK - Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.DRESS CODE - It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. RESTROOM CODE - If your in the bathroom stall more then 5 minutes , an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under "Chronic Offenders."Thank you for your loyalty to our great State. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.THE GOVERNATER

[Charlievibe]

Very funny, love it!!!!!!!!

[nismo]

Nice!

[Big_Red]

Old....have seen a variety of this e-mail/memo...but it always a good read.

[AKLGT]

i got this the other day. made me laugh on a bad day, so i thought i'd share with everyone else.

[ColonelPanic]

We've got a dude that breaks the restroom code... It's to the point where we need to run long network and phone cables, give him a laptop, and let him work from the crapper. lol!