Help me understand this online dating thing

[AKLGT]

only if you can get 'em off her feet! and no purse snatching either! lol. oh wait! that was dsegundo!

[Fialchar]

Lol

[Winter]

Okay, I'll keep this as short as possible because it normally takes me about 30 minutes to tell the full story. First, realize that I never had problems meeting women or getting dates. I was referred to as a "player" in high school...I'm not proud of that, in fact I regret a lot of it, but it's a fact nevertheless.Back in 2001, I was working graveyard shift for a technology company and pretty much spent all night browsing the net and looking at live webcams (just different scenery or shots of streets mostly)...never thought much about actually meeting up with someone online. Then I came across a girl talking to one of her friends through their webcams. It was just a public site...not a dating site or anything. After just a few minutes of watching/listening, I thought this girl was attractive and witty enough to warrant me sending her an IM.She lived in Atlanta GA, I lived in Dallas TX. We talked for a few weeks before anything got serious. We clicked, and after we had "known" each other for a month or so we started talking on the phone...and even more online. We noticed after another month or so that we spent more time talking to each other than doing anything else.After 2 months of talking, she decided to fly out to meet me in person for 2 days. She flew to Texas, we had a wonderful weekend...and I flew out to Georgia the following weekend. Now, keep in mind, I was only 19 at the time and only made around $37k a year, and we were both going to school full time...so flying back and forth took a serious toll on both of our finances and GPAs. After we each flew to the other's state 4 times, she decided to move to Texas.Fast forward 3 years...we're now married, living in Atlanta, have a 1 year old daughter, brand new house, 2 new Pontiacs, and we're planning a second child in the near future.Finding love online does happen...and you don't necessarily even have to be looking for it.

[AKLGT]

wow! that's very cool to know, winter. i'm so glad it worked out for you and your wife. but i know what you mean, you never know what can happen if you are willing to take a risk every now and then. and if i only lived that far from phil, i'd be pretty darn happy! it's spendy to travel every few months flying back and forth 5000 miles. but, hey, if it's worth it, then it doesn't matter, right?

[Kari]

I've dated two people that I met online...one of whom lied to me repeatedly, and the other of whom I attended my senior homecoming and prom with. The former and I don't really speak anymore, and the latter and I are finally back to being friends again, which I'm glad for, because he's a great friend, but he was just wanting marriage and a family and all of that before I had even gotten to college, which I can't do and didn't want to do. But only one was a bad experience...you just have to be careful and make sure you know the person very well. I had known Ben (#2) for years before we even became an "item," so I knew him really really well. That's the key: knowing who you're dealing with, and knowing you can trust them.

[ZubenElGenubi]

Maybe I haven't read enough threads, but how'd you and Mav hook up? I mean, yeah, you both have cool cars and all, but what started the conversation between you two? Seems you managed to do some Internet dating without even trying (and sounds like it's working so far!). Kinda interesting to read both of your posts in this thread in hindsight...Me..I met my wife the old fashoned way...she used to go out with my brother.

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by ZubenElGenubi »Maybe I haven't read enough threads, but how'd you and Mav hook up? I mean, yeah, you both have cool cars and all, but what started the conversation between you two? Seems you managed to do some Internet dating without even trying (and sounds like it's working so far!). Kinda interesting to read both of your posts in this thread in hindsight...Me..I met my wife the old fashoned way...she used to go out with my brother. hmm... good question. i think originally it started off as him asking questions about cai, mods and such for the vibe. then when carrie and raging started to date, it got my curiousity up, so that's when i started this thread. it kinda just progressed from there.... so go figure. LOL. but hey! it's working out well, just the distance sucks really. and your brother? for how long? and having experience dating a guy that went out w/ a good friend of mine, i'd have to say, NEVER DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX! or your siblings unless you have some kind of understanding or it's been a long time since the break up.

[ZubenElGenubi]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »hmm... good question. i think originally it started off as him asking questions about cai, mods and such for the vibe. then when carrie and raging started to date, it got my curiousity up, so that's when i started this thread. it kinda just progressed from there.... so go figure. LOL. but hey! it's working out well, just the distance sucks really. Distance makes the grow fonder. Someone's gotta move sometime, or both maybe?Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »and your brother? for how long? and having experience dating a guy that went out w/ a good friend of mine, i'd have to say, NEVER DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX! or your siblings unless you have some kind of understanding or it's been a long time since the break up. Well, they went out for a short time, but were never very serious. I didn't have any intentions; just thought she was a very nice girl and that my brother was lucky to be with her. When he stopped seeing her, we were already good friends. She and I went out together a few times before we considered "dating"...dated for five years , been married for eightplus. And my brother and I are still best friends.Not saying it was easy, but probably no harder than internet dating! How's that for a segue back to the thread!

[AKLGT]

well i suppose if it's not really serious and only for a short time, then it's no big deal. and nice way to bring it back on topic. LOL

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »i guess we can now say that 5000 miles is a good distance! LOLand we seem to hang out a lot for living so far away. or we do our best anyways! LOLnow that we have more members, maybe i should ask again who have had online relationships. did you ever meet the person in person? what happened? would you ever try it if you haven't?Um, you're familiar with my little online no-go No, it's never worked for me. I've tried using match.com, but I guess I just suck? lolmatch uses "winks" as an easy way to let someone know they're interested in you. Well, out of 5 winks from 5 different women over the last couple months, not one of them has returned my initial email in response to their wink. All I do if *I* am interested is basically say "Hi, I read your profile, >", and they don't respond....(removed)!?!?! That's alright, they're the ones missing out EDIT: Quote »NEVER DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX! or your siblings unless you have some kind of understanding or it's been a long time since the break up. I don't plan on dating one of my siblings anytime soon. Sorry, I just had to

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »well, i know several couples it's worked well for and others it didn't. but then again, i know many couples who are now divorced and they met their ex spouse locally.dating is just scary in itself. it's all a risk. but if you believe the other person is worth that risk, then hell! why not? you could be missing out on something awesome! life's short. you gotta live a little anyways, right? I wish more women felt this way I know I do.

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Psychobroker »Um, you're familiar with my little online no-go No, it's never worked for me. I've tried using match.com, but I guess I just suck? lolmatch uses "winks" as an easy way to let someone know they're interested in you. Well, out of 5 winks from ladies, not one of them has returned my initial email in response to their winks. All I do if *I* am interested is basically say "Hi, I read your profile, >", and they don't respond....(removed)!?!?! That's alright, they're the ones missing out you are right, christian. they are the ones missing out. and in your geographical location, i think you have to deal w/ a lot more crap than most. lots of superficial people, both men and women. all want to date models or the picture perfect person. and always looking for someone "better" than who they have now if they even have someone. the right person will come along. just be patient. even though it sucks.

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »you are right, christian. they are the ones missing out. and in your geographical location, i think you have to deal w/ a lot more crap than most. lots of superficial people, both men and women. all want to date models or the picture perfect person. and always looking for someone "better" than who they have now if they even have someone. the right person will come along. just be patient. even though it sucks. Yeah, you've got that right. It seems like so many SoCali/L.A. men and women think they can and should be able to bag themselves a model/actor/rapper/athlete/whatever. It really is disgusting. SO MANY of them pretend to be "rollin'"...it makes me want to hurl. My ex's family is a perfect example. Her sister has a MASTERS in Criminology, and a Juris Doctorate, yet has failed the bar 3 times now, but only makes $10 an hour as a LAW CLERK. She borrows her boyfriend's (who's out on bail awaiting trial for rape charges...) Yukon w/ chorme "dubs", but expects my ex to pay for her drinks at the club. (removed)??!?! Looser, lazy a$$ underachieving facecious people! Argh!I mean, everyone has their drawbacks, but come on! I'm 27 years old, SINGLE (yes I'm a father who puts his daughter ahead of everyone else - a woman who can't respect that doesn't deserve to be with me), earn six figures (of which I earned 100% of my position!), have been complimented on being handsome by various women, strong, fairly athletic (or so I like to think haha), a GOOD b-ball player (truly!)...oh man this is pathetic LOL. I'm going back to work now

[AKLGT]

ha ha ha! well, don't get depressed. you're doing well. some day the right women will come along who will love you and your little girl just as much as you do. my best friend who got married last month, is dealing w/ his ex and the custody battle. but she loves his little girl like her own, because she's an extension of him. so they are out there, just hard to find.

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by trdvibe »ha ha ha! well, don't get depressed. you're doing well. some day the right women will come along who will love you and your little girl just as much as you do. my best friend who got married last month, is dealing w/ his ex and the custody battle. but she loves his little girl like her own, because she's an extension of him. so they are out there, just hard to find. I know, but it still sucks being lonely What I guess some women have an issue with, or don't want to be "caught in the middle of", is my divorce and custody issues. That's just it though, there IS no custody battle...there are NO issues with my ex! We get along fine and dandy!

[Charlievibe]

Quote, originally posted by Psychobroker »I mean, everyone has their drawbacks, but come on! I'm 27 years old, SINGLE (yes I'm a father who puts his daughter ahead of everyone else - a woman who can't respect that doesn't deserve to be with me), earn six figures (of which I earned 100% of my position!), have been complimented on being handsome by various women, strong, fairly athletic (or so I like to think haha), a GOOD b-ball player (truly!)...oh man this is pathetic LOL. I'm going back to work now Okay, I have to comment here.....you are EXACTLY the kind of man a lot of us ladies are looking for. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you are in the right place to find those kinds of girls.A friend of mine moved out to Hollyweird a few years back and in her first six months there became very plastically endowed. I get e-mails from her telling me of the newest item she has had enhanced or botoxed. And, when I was out in Cali a few years back, the men were just as bad. Some guy came up to me in a bar and asked me if I wanted to see his enhanced well, you know. The look on my face alone made him go away. A decent, hard working guy who puts his family first is just awesome. I think you rock and hope you find the person you deserve.

[Psychobroker]

Thanks Charlievibe Your friend's boasting and enhancements are what I'm talking about. That's such a big turn off for me.And that guy in the bar...(removed)?

[drunkenmaxx]

yuk! i really hate chicks w/fake boobs. if i wanted that, i could just fill a balloon w/jello and leave the end of the balloon empty! and that botox makes your face look creepy.

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by drunkenvibe »and that botox makes your face look creepy.Dude, you're so right!And fake boobs =

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Psychobroker »And fake boobs = ha ha ha! well good to know there are some guys that like the natural ones.

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by desert_dweller »I would bet that most guys like natural ones? I really cannot understand why some women feel the need for implants.Yep, at least THIS guy prefers them au natural, even if they're non-existent. It's better than silicone/saline. The thought of that kinda turns my stomach. Yes, I've seen some good-looking fakies, BUT that doesn't mean I wanted to get closer than "seeing" them LOL HOWEVER, this doesn't mean I'd try to dissuade want my SO to get them if SHE was hellbent on wanting them. Sure, I'd try to convince her that she doesn't need them, but I guess some women feel like they're less of a woman w/o them? Nonsense...IMHO you're closer to being less of a woman WITH them.NOTE, I did manage to talk my ex out of getting them, so please don't say "Oh sure, of course you wouldn't mind if she got them"Ok, this thread has officially been hijacked by boobs /steers it back on courseAny SoCal ladies out there in here? LOL

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by desert_dweller »I would bet that most guys like natural ones? I really cannot understand why some women feel the need for implants.hey, just like guys get bombarded w/ what they think woman want them to be like and are superficial, we get all sorts of crap shoved in our faces. me personally, i'm a bit lacking on that subject. so, to be honest, if i had the money, i'd probably do it. always been a personal thing that's bothered me. now unless the guy's a real loser, he usually doesn't complain if he's getting some. but then again, probably wouldn't complain if they were a little bigger. LOL. it's hard enough to find someone, either in your every day dealings, online, or otherwise. so most women feel they need this to help draw more attention or attraction from the opposite (removed).

[Fialchar]

If you feel that you need an artificial enhancement done to your body (Whether it be male or female) it suggests a lack of confidence, or a weak spot in how you view yourself. Hope, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honestly I don't think you need anything like that.(Also, on the physical level, fake ones just don't feel the same as natural ones)

[Fialchar]

Oh, and Christian, on the match.com thing, if you have a free profile (As many people on there do) then you can wink, but you can't email or reply to emails. Winking is just about the most you can do if you're not a paying member. I have a list of like 25+ winks, but I can't do anything more than wink back because I only have the free account

[Psychobroker]

Quote, originally posted by Fialchar »Oh, and Christian, on the match.com thing, if you have a free profile (As many people on there do) then you can wink, but you can't email or reply to emails. Winking is just about the most you can do if you're not a paying member. I have a list of like 25+ winks, but I can't do anything more than wink back because I only have the free account Yeah, I know, which is why a while ago I went ahead and actually PAID for their cheapest membership As cool as the site may be, I've had only ONE positive experience, and that was just a few phone calls with a girl from San Diego that was moving to AZ in a few weeks. She couldn't have been cooler, uyet we still weren't able to meet. Of course, my luck that she was moving.match.com....not going to pay for it again.

[AKLGT]

Quote, originally posted by Fialchar »If you feel that you need an artificial enhancement done to your body (Whether it be male or female) it suggests a lack of confidence, or a weak spot in how you view yourself. Hope, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but honestly I don't think you need anything like that.(Also, on the physical level, fake ones just don't feel the same as natural ones)well, i appreciate your kind words, but truth is we all have things that we really wish were different. and though i would love to, the mere practicality of it is just not there. i'd rather have a house to be honest but it doesn't mean i can't dream. i'm OK with what i have, but if they could be better, i'd be OK with that too.

[noginsk]

Quote, originally posted by Psychobroker »match uses "winks" as an easy way to let someone know they're interested in you. Well, out of 5 winks from 5 different women over the last couple months, not one of them has returned my initial email in response to their wink. All I do if *I* am interested is basically say "Hi, I read your profile, >", and they don't respond....(removed)!?!?! That's alright, they're the ones missing out I just signed myself up onto match.com too. Kind of a way to passs the time now that I live alone I have not even recieved one wink. You should feel good about 5! I have to confess, I haven't tried to "wink" anyone though. I guess I'm a bit too self-concious or maybe just not ready yet...

[AKLGT]

well, noginsk, i would agree with you. i think it may be a little too soon for you. but only you really know when you are ready. as for online dating type things... speaking of.... i read an article about some kind of dating system that they set busy people up to have lunch. so you go to lunch w/ other people and then you can see if you want to go out again. i forget what it's called, but i think i read about it when i was on the plane.