These Questions Demand Answers and NOW! ;)

[zionzr2]

If someone has (removed) with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Can you cry under water? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why does a round pizza come in a square box? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------What disease did cured ham actually have? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why did you just sing the two songs above? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------WHY DO WE DRIVE ON A PARKWAY, BUT PARK ON A DRIVEWAY? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your (removed)? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is it that mickey mouse wears pants and no shirt, but donald duck wears a shirt and no pants? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

[Mavrik]

haha those are pretty good. and no I didn't sing the twinkle song lol

[SeattleJeremy]

Quote, originally posted by zionzr2 »If someone has (removed) with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Classy.

[BlueCrush]

Quote, originally posted by zionzr2 »If someone has (removed) with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? THEFT BY SWINDLE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Can you cry under water? YES BUT NO-ONE WILL SEE YOUR TEARS--------------------------------------------------------------------------------How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? THE GOVERNMENT--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? NO YOU GET STUCK IN THE CLOTHES YOU DIED IN--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why does a round pizza come in a square box? SO IT DOESN'T ROLL AWAY WHEN THE DELIVERY DRIVER DROPS IT--------------------------------------------------------------------------------What disease did cured ham actually have? iT GOT RID OF THE DREADED LIVING PIG DISEASE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? LUGGAGE WAS NOT NEEDED ON THE MOON--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? BECAUSE THEY WOKE UP EVERY 2 HOURS?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? NO, IT IS CALLED A SEEING--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? IF THE MOVIE WAS ON TV, YOU WOULD BE IN A MOVIE ON TV.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? BECAUSE IT'S COOL!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. NOT NECESSARILY--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? SAME REASON BRO IS SINGULAR AND UNDIES ARE PLURAL. REALLY I DON'T WEAR A BRO, I'VE ONLY HEARD OF THEM FROM SEINFELD--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? BECAUSE THERE IS ONE PERSON THAT LIKES IT THAT WAY--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? I CARE! POOR JIMMY.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? YES, SERIOUSLY!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? NO DUCT TAPE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! GOOFY'S NAME SAY IT ALL.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? WHAT FUN IS THAT. EVERYONE NEEDS PURPOSE IN LIFE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? DUH! BABIES!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?NO, MORALONS --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? SO IT IS EASY TO REMEMBER--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why did you just sing the two songs above? TO PROVE IT WAS TRUE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------WHY DO WE DRIVE ON A PARKWAY, BUT PARK ON A DRIVEWAY? NO PARKWAYS AROUND HERE, WE JUST HAVE STREETS AND ROADS.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your (removed)? HEH, YOU SAID (removed)! HEH.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? YOUR BREATH STINKS!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why is it that mickey mouse wears pants and no shirt, but donald duck wears a shirt and no pants? THEY ARE THE PERFECT COUPLE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? NO, I NEVER GAVE YOU MY E-MAIL ADDRESS. PLEASE STOP ALL THE HARASSING E-MAILS!!!!!THAT WAS EASY! WHAT DO I WIN???