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http://www.eweek.orga shout out to all the fellow engineers on this board!treat us nicely this week....or else we stop telling you amazingly useless info!

Three engineers and three economists are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three economists each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an economist. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The economists take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The economists saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the economists decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed economist. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train the three economists cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the economists are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

Why Engineers Don't Write Recipes Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ingredients: 1) 532.35 cm3 gluten 2) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO-3 3) 4.9 cm3 refined halite 4) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 5) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C-12H-22O-11 6) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C-12H-22O-11 7) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde 8) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein 9) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) Procedures: To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (hereafter referred to as "reactor #1") with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel (hereafter referred to as reactor # 2) with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the said mixture is homogeneous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table. Allow the product sufficient time to come to equilibrium.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the third tee(par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on the right) while aparticularly slow group of golfers were flailing away ahead of them.Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!Priest: Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him.Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They'rerather slow aren't they?George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost theirsight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytimefree of charge!Doctor: Wow! Thanks for the scoop George.Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for themtonight.Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my opthamologist buddy and seeif there's anything he can do for them.After a short pause ...Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer and computer engineer were driving along, not in a Vibe, becuase all of a sudden it stopped running, so they pulled over to the side of the road to figure out what to do next.The mechanical engineer said "We should check for obstructions in the fuel line, make sure there is proper lubricant and that the air filter isn't clogged"The electrical engineer said " We should check to make sure that the alternator is working, the battery is connected, that there is proper connection to the car's sensors and computer, and the electronic ignition"The computer engineer said "Maybe if we just get out of the car, and then get back in, it will work again"

theres a week dedicated to us...sweet...my college sucks i didnt know about it til i saw your post.joat, i agree with most of those except the ingredients...unless its a chem engr.

Here's an engineering joke I received the other day......How you know when you've ticked off an engineer

ummm....Isn't there enough stuff out there to make fun of engineers with already, do you think its wise to give the "preten-gineers" any more ammo?I make sure to read the Dilbert cartoon everyday, it always gives me something to chuckle/laugh/think about.I love engineers. Especially when they wear that neat little striped hat, and make the train go whoo-whoo. j/k everyone. no offense intended. ps thanks for posting the eweek address.

Quote, originally posted by Dragonsm »Here's an engineering joke I received the other day......How you know when you've ticked off an engineerIgnoring what looks like the greek character tau, he's payin' them what, about $24?e^pi is about 2.718^3.142, or about 23 and the limit of the summation of 1/2^n from n=1 to infinity approaches 1.+1 to coldmm803's comments