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the purina diet!

Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 9:38 pm
by drunkenmaxx
I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So, I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.

Re: the purina diet! (drunkenmaxx)

Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 11:25 pm
by scherry2
man, you kill me.

Re: the purina diet! (scherry2)

Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 11:59 pm
by drunkenmaxx
for the record, i didn't do this it's a joke i found.

Re: the purina diet! (drunkenmaxx)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:02 am
by Mavrik
Yeah I read it before somewhere... still funny!

Re: the purina diet! (Mavrik)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:12 am
by scherry2
But just from knowing you on here. and the story about the lady and the dressing room, I can see you doing that.

Re: the purina diet! (drunkenmaxx)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:25 am
by Toasted7
I thought I had heard something really similar to that before... but I agree with scherry2, I could see you doing something like that!

Re: the purina diet! (Toasted7)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 4:30 am
by NascarXprt
yea i think we can all se you doing that Drunken. but man thats funny

Re: the purina diet! (drunkenmaxx)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 5:17 am
by nygiantzz1
That is too funny, i laughed so hard, I spit coffee all over the keyboard.

Re: the purina diet! (nygiantzz1)

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:18 am
by chemrebel
man that's one that truly never gets old.

Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:44 pm
by MRCN RCE
that's the funniest thing i've heard in a while... i'ma use that story and yeah, althought i don't know you that well and just going from some of your posts, i could see you doin that too