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These are so bad, keep reading to see if they get any better....1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Theceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,but don't start anything."3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"Abeer please, and one for the road."6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does thistaste funny to you?"7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'""That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.""Is it common?""Well, It's Not Unusual."8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says toDolly, "I was artificially inseminated this mornin! g." "I don't believeyou,"saysDolly "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing tolook at either.10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn'tfind any.12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know youcan't - I've cut off your arms!"13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.15. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!! Subject: Here are the 10 first place winnersin the International Pun Contest.1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. Thestewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, on! ly one carrionallowed per passenger."2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other andsays "Dam!".3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in thecraft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't haveyour kayak and heat it too.4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The othersays, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a rootcanal?His goal: transcend dental medication.6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standingin the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After aboutan hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."Butwhy," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't standchess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes toa family in Egypt and is named "A! hmal." The other goes to a family inSpain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture ofhimself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells herhusband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husbandresponds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened upa small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowersfrom the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competitionwas unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, therival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thugin town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashedtheir store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can preven! tflorist friars.9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked bare foot most of the time, whichproduced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate verylittle, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he sufferedfrom bad breath. This made him ... Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (bet youstart humming it)10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to hisfriends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make themlaugh.No pun in ten did.

Priceless!I've read many of these before, but I'd forgotten most of them! Thanks!

Quote, originally posted by BlueCrush »9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked bare foot most of the time, whichproduced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate verylittle, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he sufferedfrom bad breath. This made him ... Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (bet youstart humming it)I love this one!Good stuff! Thanks for cheering me up after the Seahawks loss...