DON'T FART IN BED
Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:01 am
DON'T FART IN BEDIf this story does not make you cry from laughing so hard, let me knowand I will pray for you.This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of fartingloudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife andthe smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Everymorning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because itwas making her sick. He told her he could not stop it and that it wasperfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned thatone day he would blow his guts out.The years went by and he continued to rip them out!Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey fordinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl whereshe had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all thespare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl andwent upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pullingback the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of hisunderpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpetingwhich was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of franticfootsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly controlherself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! Afteryears of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in hisbloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned meand I didn't listen to you"."What do you mean?" asked his wife."Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my gutsout, and today it finally happened.But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I gotmost of them back in.