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Counselors Are Standing By At The Aztek Help Center The New York Times December 19, 2004 By Bruce McCall HAVING accomplished the goal of provoking nonstop hilarity in the world's styling ateliers, the Pontiac Aztek -- Road Kill magazine's sport futility vehicle of the year -- will soon be even more invisible than it is now. It will, in fact, be dead. Quietly and without eulogies, General Motors is sending the bizarre minivan-based, tent-equipped Aztek to its final rusting place between the Yugo and the Fiat X1/9. But Pontiac dealers will not be wearing black armbands; they are clearing space for the Aztek's replacement, the Torrent, a utility wagon with less chance of becoming a punchline. Among the general public, Aztek awareness is such that months and perhaps years may pass before the masses notice the void. But owners are invited to call the Aztek Help Center for grief counseling -- or, if that proves as superfluous as early focus groups indicate, answers to the questions that a motorist might ask when his vehicle suddenly goes the way of the Titanic: Q. Will Pontiac mark the Aztek's passing with some official gesture? A. Yes and no. The Pontiac division will be busy trying to sell the stamping dies and tooling to Daihatsu or DeLorean. But in Mexico, descendants of Aztec priests will placate the gods by ritually sacrificing the last Aztek off the assembly line. Current owners are eligible for a coupon worth $2 toward air fare and bus travel to the volcano into which the vehicle will be hurled. Q. Isn't Oprah giving away 1,000 Azteks on a coming show? A. Drat, it leaked! Yes, but all 1,000 cars will go to a single individual. Rumored recipient: David Letterman. Q. Did anybody at G.M. look at the Aztek before the first one was shipped to dealers in 2000? A. The styling studio's entire Aztek file appears to have been misplaced, but internal inquiries suggest that at the final presentation to top management, Pontiac's general manager thought she was looking at a vending machine, the head of styling thought he was hallucinating and the chief engineer had a dental appointment. Q. Why was the Aztek so out of touch with the buying public? A. Frankly, it was the public that was out of touch with the Aztek. While the car had it all -- four wheels, an engine, seating for four, even a lift-out console that doubled as a six-pack cooler -- S.U.V. shoppers just didn't get it; they used the smokescreen of repulsive styling as an excuse to stay away in droves. A ''blindfold test'' of the target customers proved successful: after their Aztek walkarounds, 9 out of 10 participants begged to be blindfolded. Q. Why that name, anyway? A. The industry spends millions of dollars to screen model names for irrelevance, incomprehensibility and weirdness. Aztek outscored all other candidates, proving to be more irrelevant, more incomprehensible and even weirder than Inka, Mohok, Eroquoi and Navaho

Goodbye Asscrack!!

If people in the 60's thought the Edsel was ugly, imagine how they would have felt about the Aztek! The Edsel might still be built today if this had been around back then!

Right, I actually liked the Edsel myself...Supposedly the Aztek owners love them! I never liked the style and I usually like new, different, cutting edge styles i.e. the 300C & the CTS but I just could not get over the Aztek. After GM changed it slightly it grew a bit on me.

Quote, originally posted by MiVibe-ToolGuy »Right, I actually liked the Edsel myself..Yeah, me too!Quote, originally posted by MiVibe-ToolGuy »Supposedly the Aztek owners love them! I never liked the style and I usually like new, different, cutting edge styles i.e. the 300C & the CTS but I just could not get over the Aztek. After GM changed it slightly it grew a bit on me. So I've heard! Seen a few driving around here, but I can't imagine someone going to a lot and saying, "Hmm, I really like that one! I'll take it!"!

Good riddence! Pontiac needs a real SUV. Buick realized that they needed a real SUV, the Rendesvous (SP?) is a POS but the Reinier (SP? again) is a sweet ride.

My parents lease a Rendezvous and really like it (put their Mt. Bikes in the back). Then again it is based off a minivan platform and it is their first SUV, crossover type vehicle they have ever had. Not sure what they will lease next. I have heard two things about it from drivers, underpowered and a bouncy ride.

That write-up is hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard since I saw the original vehicle!Remember, no matter how fugly a vehicle is outside, when you're driving it, all you can see is the people pointing and laughing.

Quote, originally posted by Mr. Poopypants »Buick realized that they needed a real SUV, the Rendesvous (SP?) is a POS but the Reinier (SP? again) is a sweet ride.See? The Rendezvous is an Aztek in Buick garb, while the Rainier is a reincarnated TrailBlazer/Envoy/Bravada.

I am SOOOO happy they got rid of the Asstek. One less ugly car on the road.Inder

See? That's what happens when you breed an SUV out of a Grand Prix chassis...and a Pontiac Trans-Sport... Good Bye!Good Luck!Good Riddance!

If you look at the styling of the Vibe there are some actual elements that look like they came from the Aztek. So I think it's actually funny that you're kind of dissing the Vibe as well. I purchased a 2004 Aztek Rally Edition based on that it looks similar to a Vibe but a little more roomier inside. I agree it's not the best looking vehicle GM has put out, but once you're inside one you forget what it looks like on the outside. The Aztek has been a great vehicle since I bought it!"Let the bashing commence"http://forums.genvibe.com/zero...e.JPGh ... ead?id=541

Luckily, the Vibe drew off of the attractive aspects of the Aztek (as few as they may be)

Quote, originally posted by GlenW »http://forums.genvibe.com/zero...e.JPGNow this is the only way I would buy an Aztek!! This si the only time I have seen one that looks decent, even after searching through ones that are "fixed up", I just didn't think it was possible, but I would roll this all day!

a friend had one as a company vehicle for a while...lol...yeah i knowi thought it looked kinda goofy...but it grew on megot inside it for the first time and MANthat thing feels like a TANK!!!!short windows, handles everywhere to hold on....its awesome on the insideif you can cover your laughter, test drive one...