Search found 1427 matches

by ballrub
Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:20 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (Atomic)

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside t...
by ballrub
Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:51 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: Smart Car - New Body Kits!
Replies: 21
Views: 13757

Re: Smart Car - New Body Kits! (engineertwin2)

Quote, originally posted by engineertwin2 »This one looks like it actually could be a Smart....hilarious!This one actually IS a Smart car!
by ballrub
Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:46 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: Smart Car - New Body Kits!
Replies: 21
Views: 13757

Re: Smart Car - New Body Kits! (BlueCrush)

The "Smibe"! Pretty funny!Now here's their latest one called the Smustang GT 50%...
by ballrub
Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:15 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: Smart Car - New Body Kits!
Replies: 21
Views: 13757

Smart Car - New Body Kits!

Well...most of you are familiar with the "Smart Car": But did you know they now make some body kit conversions to transform this car into looking a little like some other cars... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...Like the Smaudi AWD... . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....o...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:13 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (rdnzl)

Did you hear about the 40-lb. midget whose testicles weighed 10 lbs. each? He was half nuts.
by ballrub
Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:56 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: My New vibe
Replies: 18
Views: 2667

Re: (rdnzl)

Nice looking `09 Vibe there. We want more pics, and let us know of what future mods you're planning.As mentioned in my joke thread, I'm an avid Zappa fan myself. But, after looking through my 3-CD boxed set of "Shut Up and Play Your Guitar", "Shut Up and Play Your Guitar Some More&quo...
by ballrub
Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:27 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (rdnzl)

Quote, originally posted by rdnzl »A cliquey little bunch aren't we?Sounds like a bunch of goody two shoes who like to have it both ways. Rules are rules, and they are obviously meant to be bent to your liking. Cool. I'm down wit dat.I can't say A** because it is such a horrible word but its fine t...
by ballrub
Sat Aug 16, 2008 1:34 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (rdnzl)

Quote, originally posted by rdnzl »You said it is a family forum and I cannot use the word A**But I find a whole bunch of jokes that might make some truckers blush. I don't get it.I'm assuming it's because this thread is marked "(mature audiences only)" which implies adult language and is...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:05 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God , USA , they decided to send it to the President. (BUSH)The president was so amused that he instruct...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:58 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me, a dental hygienist, clean her teeth. She was accompanied by her grand-mother. When they came in, I greeted them warmly, seated Kelsey and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles and mask. About ten minutes into the...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:55 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

My last name is a mouthful, so when my three-year-old niece learned to spell it, I was thrilled, until my cousin burst my bubble. 'You can spell Sczygelski any way you like,' he pointed out. 'Who's going to know if it's wrong?'
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:52 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili. 'Hey, Jermon,' I called out excitedly. He came running int...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:50 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know that Newman was a famous m...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:18 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq ' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:17 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. 'You don't have to ...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:16 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

On a brutally humid day, I walked past a miniature golf course and saw a dad following three small children from hole to hole. 'Who's winning?' I shouted. 'I am,' said one kid. 'Me,' said another. 'No, me,' yelled the third. Sweat dripping down his face, the dad gasped, 'Their mother is.'
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:14 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone 'Hello,' she whispered. 'Hi, honey. How's your mother?' I asked. 'She's sleeping,' she answered, again in a whisper. 'Did she go to the doctor?' I asked. 'Yes. She got some medicine,' my niece said...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:13 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered for story time. The book they were reading was There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. After the librarian finished the first page, she asked the children, 'Do you think she'll die?' 'Nope,' a little girl in...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:12 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

My wife left the car unattended for only a minute, but it was long enough for our two-year-old to climb in, throw the car into reverse and crash into a lamppost. He was fine, but the car wasn't, and I had a hard time explaining who was behind the wheel to the insurance company. After a pause, the ad...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:11 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:09 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.' Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things ...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:08 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:07 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and w...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:06 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

The husband leaned over and asked his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had (removed) together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.''Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.''OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll aroun...
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:03 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f*ckin' red mark on his forehead.
by ballrub
Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:02 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (joatmon)

Quote, originally posted by joatmon »honestly, I didn't go through all 47 pages to find out if this was a repostDon't worry...I've probably re-posted quite a few myself, but just look upon this thread as a "resource" for jokes. I'll post some more today, and some of these I bet are repost...
by ballrub
Mon May 26, 2008 1:20 am
Forum: Engine & Transmission
Topic: cold air or short ram
Replies: 38
Views: 6461

Re: cold air or short ram (vibebob)

Quote, originally posted by vibebob »bringing this back from the dead zone. Concerning heat, I live in SE Texas and it is over 75 for most of the year. is the SR bad for the engine when the air temps are in the upper 90's/low 100's with high humidity ?The CAI, I would worry about getting water in i...
by ballrub
Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:31 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (ballrub)

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to...
by ballrub
Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:23 am
Forum: Engine & Transmission
Topic: Magnaflow exhaust installed!
Replies: 8
Views: 1785

Re: Magnaflow exhaust installed! (Mr GoLucky)

Quote, originally posted by Mr GoLucky »how much was it and installedI have no idea! I did a 3-part magazine story on the build up of my Vibe, and did not pay for any of the accessories you see on my car, including the Magnaflow exhaust, Hotchkis suspension, TSW wheels, Bridgestone (now Fuzion) tir...
by ballrub
Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:29 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Re: (MRCN RCE)

A man walks in a Bank gets in line and when it was his turn he pulls out a gun ... and robs the Bank!But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses... he turns around and asks the next customer in line: Did you see me Rob this Bank? The customer replies ...YES!The bank robber raises his gun POINTS IT ...
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:12 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (MRCN RCE)

Quote, originally posted by MRCN RCE »well, you can't really say life hasn't been interesting lately... I'll say...but I wouldn't trade any of the "downs" on this journey we call life, as it has taught me more than the "ups"!Quote, originally posted by MRCN RCE »glad you're doi...
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:58 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (WaveAction)

Quote, originally posted by WaveAction »i dont know you but welcome back!! glad to hear you're doing wellThanks for the welcome back WaveAction...even though I don't know you either, but that will change! But, I gotta say you've posted twice as much as me in half the amount of time. I wish I could ...
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:32 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: New 2009 Vibe-New genvibe member
Replies: 32
Views: 4220

Re: (Theodoreable)

Welcome to you oh `09 Vibe owner theodorable! Better not forget to post pictures, or I will light the first torch! We must have pics soon, especially since you are one of the first `09 owners!
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:22 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: New User in VT
Replies: 28
Views: 5115

Re: (starmatt)

Welcome starmatt! We need pics of your new Vibe as soon as possible!
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:07 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: New!
Replies: 18
Views: 2366

Re: New! (ChrisBa)

Welcome noob! Another "hoser" too, eh? Did we mention you need to post pictures? ASAP!
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:54 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (NascarXprt)

Hi gang! Thanks for the warm and fuzzy welcome! I know I've not had the chance recently to post in the last 6 months or so, but I have been lurking now and then just to check up on you all.So..the saga continues...First off, remember the TV show "Fine Tuned" I help get on the air? If anybo...
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:49 am
Forum: Engine & Transmission
Topic: Magnaflow exhaust installed!
Replies: 8
Views: 1785

Re: Magnaflow exhaust installed! (~MRVIBE2006~)

Good choice my friend! I've had my cat-back Magnaflow on the Vibe for over 4-years now and still love that sound! Going under big bridges or through tunnels with the windows open is just way too cool! I really love the little "pop" when blipping the throttle or down-shifting too!
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:43 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

I'm back and still kicking!Update on the "drama" in my life from this last year this weekend! Stay tuned!
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 2:41 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

ok MRCN RCW...I will post an update in the "ballrub is alive" thread this weekend, since this last year has been another roller-coaster of a ride (I swear, this could be an on-going soap opera or min-series!), but things are on the right track again (but only as of last month).
by ballrub
Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:58 am
Forum: Humor
Topic: ballrub's jokes (mature audiences only)
Replies: 1207
Views: 151166

Well...I haven't posted any new jokes in quite a while...because I think I've already told all of the good ones!I'll have to go on the hunt again for some more good ones that haven't already been told in this thread.
by ballrub
Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:29 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (AKLGT)

Quote, originally posted by AKLGT »ballrub, looks like another great project! can't wait to read more about it. will you be writing any more spiffy cool articles this time?? well Hope...funny you should ask! I have already been asked to write up an article for Hot rod Restoration magazine, HotRodHo...
by ballrub
Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:10 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (joatmon)

Quote, originally posted by joatmon »a stick I was waiting for a "good" punchline...Quote, originally posted by Sublimewind »Man, that is incredible....!!!! I sure wish i knew people that knew people, to get into deals like that... This may sound really strange, but that car would look g...
by ballrub
Thu Aug 02, 2007 2:24 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (Sublimewind)

Quote, originally posted by Sublimewind »(removed), that is going to be soooooo cool, are you doing a reso on it or are you going to mod it??? It's in such GOOD shape! 15k, so who are you stealing from???? LoL... I'll be watching this FOR SURE...!This car has only 31,000 miles on it! My Vibe has ov...
by ballrub
Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:13 am
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Re: (AKLGT)

Quote, originally posted by AKLGT »ballrub! wow! has it REALLY been 2 YEARS???? well, sorry for all the crazy mishaps in your life, but it sounds like things are really picking up for you! sorry about the kids, sometimes they just have to live and learn the hardway (i know i had to) for it to sink ...
by ballrub
Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:00 pm
Forum: The Vibe Lounge
Topic: Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!
Replies: 46
Views: 6134

Ballrub is ALIVE (and finally doing well)!

Well…how the hell have you all be doing?I know, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to sit down and get back on some of my favorite old sites, and it’s good to see you all around (I’ve been lurking a few times now and then just to check up on you all!).A lot has happened in the...
by ballrub
Sat Apr 07, 2007 3:18 am
Forum: GenVibe Garage
Topic: mfivvibe - 2003 Voltz Base
Replies: 51
Views: 15411

Re: mfivvibe - 2003 Voltz Base (mfivvibe)

Damn!!!! The "Voltz" is lookin mighty good! I really like the carbon fiber valve cover! Good taste there brother!
by ballrub
Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:26 am
Forum: GenVibe Garage
Topic: Psychobroker - 2003 Vibe GT
Replies: 35
Views: 9820

Re: (Psychobroker)

Quote, originally posted by Psychobroker »What's up Stephen! How've you been? I'm selling because I can't justify 2 car payments (RDX), and I just wanted to get into a different car. Do you know any potential buyers? Been crazy around my place for the last year (update coming this weekend).Sorry to...
by ballrub
Thu Mar 08, 2007 6:22 am
Forum: GenVibe Garage
Topic: Psychobroker - 2003 Vibe GT
Replies: 35
Views: 9820

Re: (damronjr)

Quote, originally posted by damronjr »He lives! Yes...I'm alive, and getting back into the swing of things. I will be posting an update on me and the Vibe this weekend to bring you all up to speed on what I've been up to!
by ballrub
Wed Mar 07, 2007 4:47 am
Forum: GenVibe Garage
Topic: Psychobroker - 2003 Vibe GT
Replies: 35
Views: 9820

Re: (Psychobroker)

(Sorry I haven't been on line as much as I would like lately) YOU'RE SELLING YOUR CAR? Dude...why?
by ballrub
Mon Sep 18, 2006 1:26 am
Forum: Wheels & Tires
Topic: Aftermarket Wheel Gallery
Replies: 99
Views: 86951

Re: Wheels (ballrub)

savedbyzero:Those wheels look sweet on your Vibe! I love the black centers with the polished lip!IDT_Designer:You need to lower your Vibe...STAT!!!!!!